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Helium Bed
Maximum support by night, maximum room by day! | |
An airbed filled with helium! Soft and luxurious helium-filled material supports your tired body 7 times better than air, and you rest like a god. By day, when space is at a premium, you simply untie its unobtrusive mountings. It floats gently to the ceiling, leaving you with the room to roam, tomfool
or work that's just not available to those luddites lumbered with a heavier than air bed. A 21st Century essential!
[link]
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but what about the heavy tog factor of modern day duvets thus denying you the high rise effect and thus no free room below! Oh my god and then there's the fact of matching bed UNDER colour to go with the interior decor! |
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Plus you'd never be able to hold a party for fear of getting to *that* point of the evening and finding all your guests clustered in your room taking turns to make themselves sound like chipmunks whilst your bed for the night slowly deflates... |
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It would take more helium than
that to lift even a single
bedsheet. Given the weight
constraints, the "bed" would have
to be nothing but a mylar or latex
balloon filled with helium, and
you'd have to remove all the
bedclothes before it would float. |
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Balloons don't make good beds --
ask anyone who's slept on an air
mattress. |
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Mylar? Sounds good. And it's wipe clean! There goes the need for bedclothes! Sticky in the summer mind. Hmm. I'd suggest hydrogen, but every dream would feature a voice screaming "Oh the humanity!". |
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By attaching a tube you can make your patner inhale helium while they slumber. Hey presto - snoring that's funny. |
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Curses. Sunday Times "Eureka" section shows that one William Calderwood of Arizona has patent 4,888,836 on this very idea. The swine. |
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move on Nadir, post the Helium toilet. |
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