h a l f b a k e r yYou gonna finish that?
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One the most enduring dilemmas of the modern age concerns
itself
with which is the correct way to hang up a toilet roll? i.e. Should
the
paper feed off from the front, or from the back of the roll?
Various arguments are made for each of these positions, but now
the
matter has been fully
resolved with the introduction of The
Happy Days Toilet Roll. This is because both states are equally
provided for in equal measure, and everyone's happy with their
toilet roll. (very important)
Heres how it works: When the toilet roll is installed, the
paper
feeds off from either the front or the back, but when its half used
up, the direction of how paper has been rolled, doubles back on
itself and is therefore rolled on in reverse. This means that no
matter whether the roll starts off with the paper feeding from the
front or back, this will be automatically reversed half way
through.
If you want to understand the idea better, take a long strip of
paper
and begin rolling it unto a pencil. When you get half way along,
fold
the strip over, and continue rolling up the remaining length. Now
when
you start pulling it off, it will reverse direction at the half way
fold
over point. Voila! Age old dilemma solved :-) Happy days.
Inevitable deluxe variation features dual colour paper, with the
second colour starting at the half way point.
Happy Days!
https://sodabred.tu...oll-its-a-halfbaked democracy comes to the great toilet roll debate [xenzag, Apr 03 2020]
[link]
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How about a toilet paper hanger on a swivel, so it can be turned front or back? |
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Presumably the "Democracy" part is that sheets of toilet tissue are of considerably greater value to the individual citizen than ballot papers ? |
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A swivel hanger takes up too much room and requires investment in a new piece of apparatus. It's also been proposed before. |
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Simple, practical, effective, meets a perceived need... Even so, [+]. |
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I was expecting Arther Fonzarelli portraits on each sheet. |
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But what kind of retro-jingle, carefully engineered
to tap into affluent home-owners' childhood nostalgia
could possible be used for such a product? |
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Wait - there was a series called Toilet Roll?? |
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I read that wealthy people prefer their toilet paper over the top. thus rather than a boutique product this would need to be mass produced. |
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Fine, but can there also be a bidirectional goose-neck dispenser? |
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Geese ? That's beyond kinky ... it's beyond weird ... it's .... it's .... it's .... |
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"Crucifixion ? Through that door, first on the left, one cross
each." |
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//goose-neck dispenser// - now we know what [MaxB]
wipes his bum on |
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I never heard of anything that dispenses goosenecks
before. How do you use these goosenecks to clean your
bum? More details required please [Max] |
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You're sick, [xen], you need professional psychiatric help. Immediately. |
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That's the nicest compliment I have received so far today.
Of course I'm open to a bidding war in that regard. |
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Needs more shark.
Perhaps a paper one could be inserted into the paper at the halfway
mark such that it drops out at the reversal point. Ideally with some
spring action so that it is flung wildly inro the air in a jumping motion
with a simultaneously generated Fonzarelli signature "Eeyyyyy" |
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Quick illustration now available for viewing - last link. |
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The lovely thing about this one is how simple it is to make. |
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There's something very jarringly un-zen about this title in
our current day and age. |
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