h a l f b a k e r yExpensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.
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Every prescription or over-the-counter drug you take includes extensive warnings about possible side effects, including many that are hardly likely to happen to any one particular user. Of course they also include the more common effects, as well. For example, drowsiness is a common side effect in
OTC allergy medicine.
Alcohol is more like a recreational OTC drug. It, too, includes the very severe side effect warnings, such as death, danger to fetuses, liver damage, etc. But the most common side effect of drinking alcohol is hangover. Sure it's common knowledge to us experienced drinkers, but we still get hungover now and then, despite the experience. What about that youngster who thinks he can down all the wedding reception freebie wine coolers he wants and still feel good?
I think alcoholic beverages should include on their warning labels information regarding the more common possible symptoms associated with alcohol use and overuse:
•drowsiness
•loss of inhibitions
•loss of balance, coordination, and motor skills
•loss of speech skills
•poor judgment
•dehydration, resulting in:
•headache
•nausea
•vomiting
There should also be a bit of advice regarding what to do when such symptoms arise.
(?) Treating a Hangover
http://www.mochasof...s/01december17a.asp
Forget confusing myths... [XSarenkaX, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Bubble & Squeak?
http://wywy.essortm...angovercure_nfk.htm
I hadn't heard of this before [XSarenkaX, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
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Annotation:
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Ugh. This could only come from an American. |
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Come, come, it's clealy a satire about warning labels. |
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Certain websites should be equipped with warning labels. "This site may cause you to be late to work, dream of silly ideas for clocks in the middle of sex, and or take away your social life completely." |
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I'd like to see warning labels on bottled water:
Intentional abuse of this product by excessive consumption will lead to frequent urination. |
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//There should also be a bit of advice regarding what to do when such symptoms arise.//
Have sumpin' with onion and cilantro - like a carne asada burrito. |
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All you need to do is sue the manufacturers, claiming you didn't know the beverage would have that effect. Once the lawyers got through with it, each bottle come with a pamphlet full of warnings. |
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I have to fishbone this, sorry. There's not a human being over 10 that doesn't know you get sick if you drink too much. In this day and age of lawsuits against McDonald's by obese people, I'm in favor of consumer responsibility and common sense here, perhaps the last bastion of it. |
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You could save your elf the trouble, and just hit your elf over the head with a (full) container. |
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Caution: excessive consumption of alcoholic products may result in the posting of unpopular half-baked ideas resulting in public humiliation. |
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Sadly, this warning COULD have helped me. ;) |
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Nude? Fine. But seriously, where did "biker" come from all of a sudden? I've never ridden a motorcycle in my life and probably never will. |
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Very well written considering you were drinkin', XsX. |
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[xs] If you do I'd recommend against the nude part. 1/2 of all bikers will have a serious accident, and nakedness and pavement don't mix. |
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A couple of friends of mine put on the greatest American Football halftime show ever, I believe it was '79...
One stood at the middle of the football field and played "Tie Your Mother Down" as an instrumental on his Les Paul Goldtop through Marshall amps - the other *streaked* around the track on his motorcycle while wearing nothing but a smile. Fantastic |
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Thank you. See? Never assume. |
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beer before liquor, never been sicker.
liquor before beer, she'll love you forever. |
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<puts arm around [bobofthefuture]>
"Now, ze thirst fing to know is ... (hic).. " <stumbles>
"Whoopsy day-sy, now, I was sayin, ze first thing is ... Oh I luv this choon... come on lets dance tae it" <staggers off>
"la la...la la la..." |
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WARNING: Excessive consumption of this product may make you think that you can sing/dance/handle an extra chilli burrito. |
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Eh, I think figuring out the side effects of alcohol the hard way is an important part of learning to drink. Hell if there were warning labels, I might have gone easy on the whiskey when I first started to drink. Sure I would have avoided lots of vomiting, but I also wouldn't be able to handle booze like I can now. |
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// Sure I would have avoided lots of vomiting, but I also wouldn't be able to handle booze like I can now. // |
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You say that as if it's a good thing. |
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I meant it not that now I can do greater damage to my liver when I drink, but when I am drinking, I can remain coherent (at least as much as I am sober), and make semi-rational decisions. |
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[notme]: As I suspected. Sounds to me like you need a more objective measure of "coherent" and "semi-rational"... you know, someone besides a drunken YOU. Otherwise, we might all brag about how we can all handle alcohol. ;) |
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Xs: I've never had anyone complain about any drunken antics of mine, and have never done anyting I regretted except a few times when I was horrifically drunk. I figure thats good enough for me.
Doc: I didn't say anything about not losing some hand-eye coordination. |
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All I was trying to say in the first place was that with somethings it's better to learn the hard way. Teaches respect for alcohol and whatnot. |
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What's the difference between an Aussie wedding and an Aussie funeral ? ..... there's one less drunk at the funeral.
After considering XsX idea it surprises me that in this day and age of being able to sue a company for massive amounts of money for because they had not stated the obvious on their labels that health warnings are not already required on alcohol containers.
I once had a red cattle dog that developed a taste for bourbon and coke ( no animal lovers, I did not encourage this ). One night at a party she must have got into a few others drinks too because she was sick for three days afterward . The dog never drank again, unlike her owner (hehe) and most other people with a hangover who swear they will never drink again. Maybe commonsense with learning what is bad for you is not a human trait. |
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I heard alcohol can cause brain damage...(link) |
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Alcohol causes dain bramage? |
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<Homer>Oh XSX, you and your stories. Bart is a vampire. Beer kills brain cells. Now let's go to that building....thingy... where our beds and TV.... is.</H> |
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(furiously dialling lawyer) |
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Just seen a Jack Daniels advert in a magazine. At the bottom of the page: |
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"Please drink responsibly" |
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Why is that a problem? Ultimate disclosure is a good thing. |
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Because, [bris], my lovely, Jack Daniels is not drunk for pleasure as it tastes foul.
It is drunk only by people who intend to get ravingly drunk, beginners or by tasteless bastards.
Jack Daniels is made by people who have presumably tasted it too and know that it's so foul it has to be mixed with coke or similar before anyone can choke the stuff down.
Neither beginners nor people who intend to get ravingly drunk are going to drink responsibly and the Jack Daniels people *know* this.
Jack Daniels therefore only exists for people to get ravingly drunk on, so to ask their customers to get ravingly drunk but *responsibly*, please, is a tad sanctimonious. |
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And for those who deny that what I say is true, you obviously must come under the third category of Jack Daniels drinkers so, frankly, your opinion doesn't count. |
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(adjusts lapel of Noel Coward smoking jacket and sips at pink Gin&tonic) |
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