h a l f b a k e r yPoint of hors d'oevre
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The world human population will pass seven milliard
around
Hallowe'en. Assuming each person has a volume of
about
eighty cubic decimetres, this suggests an amusing way
of
wiping ourselves out as a species. The mean is of
course
much lower.
A pumpkin Hallowe'en head should be built
in Monte
Carlo
equivalent to the total volume of the human race.
Everyone should then travel to Monte Carlo and climb
into
the ball. Those on the outside should stick their legs out
and perform a Mexican Wave like manoeuvre to skitter
the
ball around until it starts rolling down a slope, off a cliff
and into the Med. Those not already crushed to death
will
drown, thereby solving all the problems of the world in
one
go. Also, everyone will be in one place - world unity.
We should organise this for next Monday.
Is this a let's all?
Actually, forget the suicide thing. Everyone just gets
together in a giant Hallowe'en pumpkin head, nicely
padded, and has fun skeetering it about in a show of
peace and harmony, in Monte Carlo, with scuba
equipment. Sorry about the earlier thing, which was a
mite negative.
2-D version
http://www.guardian...nzibar-john-brunner
[mouseposture, Oct 29 2011]
[link]
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Well, this is cheery. Clearly, this is an argument for
the advantages of modern pharmacology. |
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Or at least one fueled by it. |
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//Actually, forget the suicide thing.// Good idea. |
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Why does everybody, but particularly nineteenthly, want to wipe out the species? Hopefully not because of some notion about preserving this moss covered rock in the middle of desolate space. |
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This is a rather unimaginative as far as mass suicide ideas go. |
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<progressive> Whatever comes next will surely be
better. |
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<reactionary> Evolution has gone downhill ever since
cyanobacteria. It's time we rolled the clock back. |
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<[nineteenthly]> I'm looking forward to a post-
apocalyptic future where I can build computers out
of driftwood and baling wire. |
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If you had hair like Steven Pinker, wouldn't you, too,
be an optimist who believed in progress? |
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I'd like to point out that i did change my mind
about
the extinction during the posting of the idea, and
appealing though it is to succumb to the siren
song
of everybody being dead (Dave), i also entered an
ephemeral mental condition where i preferred the
notion
of an
orange sphere studded with millions of legs
accompanied by billions of cries of "Whoah!" rolling
around the streets of that particular casino state,
and perhaps into the accompanying sea. |
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Also, as it happens my main motivation in thinking
this up is to consider the volume of the entire
human race. Exactly how large and massive would
a sphere consisting of everyone be? |
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diameter of 9km should do it. (based on 2009 population, humans being mostly water, and a guess of an average weight of 50kg) |
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I get a diameter of 874m, based on 7*10^9 lots of 50 litres. |
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On the Australian TV show 'Q and A' recently, Australia's population future was being discussed. One of the panelists mentioned something about looming resource shortages, and another said "That won't happen for a million years!". I calculated that in a million years, the population of Australia, at present growth rates, if each person were allowed to occupy the volume of a single proton, would require a volume a mind-boggling number of orders of magnitude larger than the observable universe. |
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Are these people who deny that overpopulation is a problem aware that their arguments are so imbecilic as to make creation scientists look rational? |
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Australians are not known for their subatomic size. |
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Eight hundred and seventy-four metres sounds about
right. I worked it out yesterday but forgot what i
got. It's complicated by the number of babies, and
considering famine and malnutrition leading to
dimished stature, along with growing obesity and
eating disorders elsewhere, the actual volume is
probably hard even to estimate. |
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Monday's not good for me, I got a thing. |
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I got a thing, too, but it stays attached every day. Mrs. RayfordSteele likes me that way. |
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We would prefer a cube, but then it wouldn't roll so well. |
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We are sure that your planet's cetaceans will be delighted by
this. No more arrogant pink monkeys wandering around causing
damage to the environment, and no nasty radioactivity. We
understand they've been researching bioweapons, but this sounds
much more entertaining. |
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In the first version, it might work as a replacement
for dead whales on the ocean floor if instead of one
ball in Monte Carlo, there were a couple of hundred
of them rolling over the oceans, each with a few
million people in them, who could then sink to the
bottom and feed the hagfish. |
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a bun to [nineteenthly] for thinking of the hagfish [+] |
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I think the 7 billionth child and their nearest opposite sex should be left alive, with a big 'CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'RE OUR 7 BILLIONTH CUSTOMER! YOU'VE WON THE EARTH' recording, sign, and some party blowouts. |
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Well, now that the suicide option has been withdrawn, the occupants won't be drowning in the Med any more. They will, however, be drowning in vomit I suspect. I've also got a ticket to the thing. |
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Suicide remains an option. tell you what: half get to
die, half get to vomit. |
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Some of the people who die will also vomit probably. That will have to be accounted for. |
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