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Half-heard genius

 "an inflatable bath?" "No, an unstable giraffe"
  (+36, -3)(+36, -3)(+36, -3)
(+36, -3) 		  [vote for,
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Maybe it's just me, but my best ideas seem to come from half-heard conversations, or half-seen articles. Most memorably, I recall seeing a picture of some funky moulded bath which was actually porcelain or something, but which I, from first glance, thought was inflatable. "Cool!", I thought, "an inflatable bath!"

I was very disappointed to realise that it wasn't, but on reflection, decided it was still a cool idea. It led me on to various other, equally cool inflatable bathtime-related possibilities, which I'll tell you all about, some other time.

So I propose a cuttings service with a twist: a roomful of little wizards cutting out newspaper and magazine articles on topics which are specified by the subscriber, then posting really really bad photocopies to them. In attempt to decipher what the article really says, the reader may well stumble - entirely by mistake - across something truly brilliant.

I await in fear the inevitable garbled postings .

—moomintroll, Nov 16 2004

Visual assistance for the heart of herring http://www.baltic.v...les/chapter6.3.html
[normzone, Nov 16 2004]

(??) Your wish..... http://maps.phoenix.gov/pmo/MainFS.asp
.....is confusing me, but.......... [normzone, Nov 17 2004]

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       You know, there could be something in that. The subconcious is more likely to let us know what it's up to if we leave it some ambiguity to slip up on. Since it's the subconcious that is most likely to come up with something useful, any methods that are going to help it out of its shell sound like a good idea to me.
—zen_tom, Nov 16 2004
   

       I think that if, instead of wizards, you had "administrative assistants", it wouldn't quite so unfeasible :-D
—contracts, Nov 16 2004
   

       Was I talking to myself again?   

       Oh, "wizards", I thought you said "lizards".
—half, Nov 16 2004
   

       The bat-transform is good for garbling. On this post's first paragraph, for instance:

Perhaps it's hardly me, but my best ideas appear to amount from half-heard conversations, or half-seen articles. Most memorably, I recollect beholding a depict of a roughly fetid moulded bathroom, which was really porcelain or entity, but which I, from beginning glimpse, thinking was inflatable. "Chill!", I thought, "an inflatable bathroom!"
—ldischler, Nov 16 2004
   

       A putting service ? I don't think the people I know that golf would be interested.
—normzone, Nov 16 2004
   

       Oh "wizards", I thought you said "schizophrenics".
—yabba do yabba dabba, Nov 16 2004
   

       Like I said.   

       Was just thinking the idea should be extended. An electronic gag could be added to the TV, muffling it at critical moments. And the wizards stay. There just aren't enough employment opportunities for them, poor things. Lizards would be hopeless, they'd cut out all the wrong stuff and then probably try and eat it. Same with administrative assistants.
—moomintroll, Nov 16 2004
   

       I'm all for this. Anything that aids the random collision of disparate things has to be a good thing. Some of the best creative thoughts come as the result of cognitive thought-traffic accidents.
—lostdog, Nov 16 2004
   

       this in, in essence, one of the raisons de-better of the half-bakery.
—sophocles, Nov 16 2004
   

       raisons de bettre?
—lostdog, Nov 16 2004
   

       I hate bitter raisons.
—Worldgineer, Nov 16 2004
   

       I think he's too young to be hard of hearing.
—bristolz, Nov 16 2004
   

       [bristolz], maybe the link will help.
—normzone, Nov 16 2004
   

       At a glance I thought it said "Half-beard Genius" and I thought to myself, "Hm, attractive."
—Machiavelli, Nov 16 2004
   

       I think the link should have been to a map of the city of Phoenix.
—bristolz, Nov 17 2004
   

       Your wish is my command.....
—normzone, Nov 17 2004
   

       Now, zoom in around his house . . .
—bristolz, Nov 17 2004
   

       A similar effect can be produced using the babelfish translation service. For example, after translating to chinese and back to english, the last paragraph of this idea becomes:   

       So I propose a margin service by the curve: A room diminutive witchcraft teacher obliterates the newspaper and the magazine article in the topic which assigns by the subscriber, then posts truly truly the bad copy to them. Deciphers any article in the attempt truly to believe that, perhaps the reader gushes out trips entire - wrongly - stretches across really the brilliant matter.   

       Which is something different entirely! Perhaps the reader gushes out trips entire? Perhaps!
—bungston, Nov 17 2004
   

       Oh, you said <<liberate>> Iraq. Oh well, my mistake. :)
—not_only_but_also, Nov 17 2004
   

       'Half-beard Genius..."attractive."' - well, it has been quite a few years since I had a beard, but you got the rest right. I don't recall it, but obviously you've met me at some point. ;-)   

       Yeah, zoom on in [norm]. You know the way; east.
—half, Nov 17 2004
   

       A half-beard genius... which half?   

       Or is he/she only half genius (and all beard)?   

       I had no idea I was writing about a hairdresser with a talent for facial hair and attention deficit disorder.
—moomintroll, Nov 17 2004
   

       Nor I.
—bristolz, Nov 17 2004
   

       Mmmm... nori. Haven't had sushi in a while.
—Worldgineer, Nov 17 2004
   

       Just been looking at the links... I fear the Phoenix thing is waaay too subtle for me, sorry. But the baltic one really does make a great HB nuclear option. Charming.
—moomintroll, Nov 17 2004
   

       You don't have the full information on the Phoenix thing, [moom]...it's just about half there.
—half, Nov 17 2004
   

       Huh. Still brooding over a website full of dead fish.
—moomintroll, Nov 18 2004
   

       I was just looking at Google News and thought I saw the headline, "Girl or Soy" over a picture of a baby.   

       Maybe this idea could be a Halfbakery feature -- the randomly edited idea view.
—JesusHChrist, Mar 25 2005
   

       Umudun sýrasýný bekleyenlerimiz, hayatýn zorluklarýný henüz fark edemeyen çocuklarýmýz var. Bu umudu onlara verelim, onlarý gücümüz oranýnda destekleyerek yaþama kazandýrmanýn onurunu yaþayalým. Duyarlý bir toplum olarak sizlerin adýna da birileri yürüsün, geleceðe umutla baksýn. Tedaviler ve ameliyatlar konusunda bilgi almak isteyenlerimiz derneðimize baþvurabilir.
—farble, Mar 25 2005
   

       Brilliant!
—farble, Mar 25 2005
   

       Sp: amelýtlar
—Basepair, Mar 25 2005
   

       Actually, just listening to a conversation in Dutch could work just as well for English-speakers. As others have noted, Dutch sounds like English, but the words don't make sense. The rhythm and the phonemes are so similar that you will often hear what sound like bizarre (and sometimes inspiring) English sentences spoken by Dutchmen ("Can you put milk islands in the bus-stop?" "Nets can hold 'em or we haven't eaten.")
—Basepair, Mar 25 2005
   

       That last anno looked to be implying that the King James Bible contains arabic language misheard as english non-sequiters.... must be half-heard
—sophocles, Mar 25 2005
   

       {=}   

       ;-)
—justibone, Mar 26 2005
   

       <In a north-of-England variety club frequented by physicists> "No, no, Albert, I said 'Eeeh, see the M.C's flares' "
—Basepair, Mar 27 2005
   

       <In a native American sex-club frequented by Greek mathematicians> "No no, Mr. P, I said "The squaw on the hippopotamus..."
—Basepair, Mar 27 2005
   

       No no, Abe, I said 'Fourscore and seven beers to go.'
—Basepair, Mar 27 2005
   

       i had mine severed years ago also.
—benfrost, Mar 27 2005
   

       heehee, hippopotamus...
—JesusHChrist, Mar 27 2005
   

       Wasn't that 'Lots of snot, Angus?
—froglet, Mar 27 2005
   

       <Statistician at a topless breakfast bar near the uranium mine > "I said, 'Bomb d' top. Mine us top d' bottom. O'er? Bomb Bomb!' "
—reensure, Mar 27 2005
   

       <July 1969, NASA> "Errrr, Sir? It's Kennedy. He says well done, but really he just wanted to send a man to Des Moines...."
—Basepair, Mar 27 2005
   

       Harry Potter and the Half-Beard Genius? There may be legal issues.
—Tabbyclaw, Mar 28 2005
   

       Sound a bit like Bryon Gysin's cut-up method.
—wagster, Mar 28 2005
   

       I meant to say "pass the butter". Instead I said "you've ruined my life you cold-hearted bitch!"
—the_jxc, Mar 29 2005
   

       My hovercraft is full of eels.
Bun
—gnomethang, Apr 01 2005
   

       Whenver I watch those old Nazi war rallies, it occurs to me, that the germans really were opressed, and it really was cold up there.   

       So mnay people shouting out "Got mittens?" in unison...
—ye_river_xiv, Apr 08 2007
   

       Pardon?
—not_morrison_rm, Apr 28 2019
   

       Today I learned that you can write Turkish with thorns and eths (letters not actually found in Turkish) and Google Translate can still translate it to very sensible English.
—notexactly, Apr 28 2019
   


 

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