h a l f b a k e r yWarm and Fussy
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Plus the weather is better [+] |
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Ye gads man, this is possibly the most half-baked idea I have *ever* seen. Moving a couple of hundred thousand party-goers, many of whom will be (happy) drunken Scots to the religious capital of a faith that abstains from alcohol, in a country where booze is illegal? Utter madness. |
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Furthermore, the differences in Calendars used by the Scots and Muslim populations would mean that every 33 years, the two occasions would overlap - testing the hitherto untried concept of merging an Islamic holy Pilgrimage with a traditional North-European booze-up. What could possibly go wrong? |
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I always thought those Gay Pride celebrations looked a little overcrowded - if this idea worked, perhaps they could consider a similar solution for those events as well. |
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Similarly, some of the more crowded "Gentlemen's Entertainment" venues might consider relocating somewhere more open plan? It would certainly make adhering to fire regulations an easier prospect. |
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Conversely, perhaps they could move the Hajj to New York city? |
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// Moving a couple of hundred thousand party-goers, many of whom will be (happy) drunken Scots //
Good point [jb] - the airlines are not too keen on passengers who are in wine.
Perhaps they could be shipped over, in returning empty bulk oil carriers. |
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I remember somebody jesting that that big black rock was cast down from the heavens as somebody prayed to God for bread. |
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Easily the most site appropriate idea i have ever read. I love it! |
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Can we send Jools Holland and his Hootenanny over there while we're at it? |
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Slight flaw in your plan... Mecca won't allow any non-Muslims into the city. Hard to believe that they can get away with this but its true. |
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//Mecca won't allow any non-Muslims into the city// |
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<broad scots accent> I'm muslim! And so's my wife! <bsa> |
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Just combine them into a sort of "Hajjmanay" - then everyone will be happy. |
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//Hajj usually results in crushing deaths// Sounds like this year's "Black Friday" event in the US - a sales promotion this year resulted in 3 people being killed - from one story about the events: |
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"Some shoppers, when interviewed, said they would never participate in another Black Friday event. They are truly shocked by how greed for bargain-basement sales led to someone's death." |
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//"Hajjmanay"//
Bun for anno |
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God's way of gathering the extremely loved to his bosom sooner, Shirley? |
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Move the ridiculously overcrowded Lewes Bonfire Night celebrations to Mecca too. The Lewes tradition of burning an effigy of the Pope should go down well, at least. |
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...and the weird[*] wannabe-druid summer solstice thing they do at Stonehenge
[* weird because the design of Stonehenge suggests it was actually used to celebrate the winter solstice, which makes much more sense - time of rebirth, new year, and all that] |
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//the design of Stonehenge suggests it was actually used to celebrate the winter solstice//
Don't be daft - it that were the case, then they'd've put a roof on and fitted central heating. Have you ever been on Salisbury Plain in the middle of Winter? |
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Other festivals/events to move:
Hay-On-Wye book festival;
The Edinburgh Festival (and Festival Fringe);
The 12th July;
Harvest Festivals various;
assorted festivals of (a) the sea, (b) politics, (c) literature, (d) botulism, (e) the Bee Gees, (f) little Tommy squeakers, (g) angry geese, (h) Tallulah Bankhead and (i) pampas grass. |
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Ah, the bi-annual Barnstable Botulism Barndance & Buffet. How I miss it! |
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What, have Hajj franchises all over the world? Maybe that's Starbucks' secret plan - I can't believe anyone goes there for the coffee. |
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CAABA, n. A large stone presented by the archangel Gabriel to the patriarch Abraham, and preserved at Mecca. The patriarch had perhaps asked the archangel for bread.
--- The Devil's Dictionary |
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So, everybody who claims to be the descendants of Abraham has the right to congregate around that black rock, whatever the time or season. |
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Right. Never were two calmer and more reasonable groups of people proposed for a tempo-spatial intersection. |
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The first "whaeruuulookenah?" and you'll have the biggest street brawl in history |
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