GyroBrolly

One persistent problem with umbrellas has to be their tendency to be caught by the slightest gust of wind and thrown hither and thither around one's head whilst one attempts, valiantly but often in vain, to redirect said brolly back into the path of the wind, since this is generally also the direction from which the rain is coming. The inherent instability of brollies can, indeed, make the life of a pedestrian a hazardous obstacle course during his daily commute to and from work - swerving, ducking and weaving to avoid the threat caused by those whose mothers were obviously negligent in instructing their offspring "You'll have someone's eye out with that if you're not careful", a piece of advice which is, I think, never unwarranted. Even the humble spork can be a dangerous implement in the hands of a fool. How many more prongs are there upon an umbrella? Think of the range - the kill-zone, we might say - of your typical golfing umbrella, now gaining in popularity even as the poor, plain black umbrella (a much more stylish accessory complementing the classic bowler hat splendidly) slips sadly towards obscurity in favour of that garish and lethal encumbrance.

Solution? The GyroBrolly. Powered by a small motor in the handle, the GyroBrolly spins merrily around your head, gyroscopically maintaining its balance against the blustery blasts and ghastly gusts of wind so typical of British weather. Suddenly, handling becomes a dream, and the umbrella itself a thing of grace and elegance, a delicate spinning top, remaining upright and proud as any British Brolly should be. Think of the image as you look out from the window of your office in the city, on the streets below, filled with whirling windmills of weather-protection, dancing gaily around each other as in a Broadway musical. What's that you say? How then might one direct the brolly into the path of driving rain to better prevent it from ruining one's buttonhole carnation? No need. With helical veins running around the exterior of the brolly in a corkscrew effect, the brolly would, we believe, create its own miniature vortex of circulating air sending incoming rain in a downward and outward direction, catching it in a slipstream which should, indeed, serve as a blissful buffer of dryness even on the most dreary day. This does require strenuous testing, I hasten to add, so as yet one would not like to make hasty - and unsubstantiated - claims. It does seem possible however that in solving the age-old problem of umbrella instability, we may also provide the solution to that other age-old problem associated with this fine - but flawed - accoutrement, known as Wet Trouser-Leg Syndome.