h a l f b a k e r yA few slices short of a loaf.
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A recent equipment malfunction, coupled with the way
electrical retailers insist on being closed at 2am, led me to
some experimentation involving (a) bread and (b) a hot-air
paint-stripper gun. The results were a revelation and some
toast.
A 2kW hot air gun is capable of producing excellent
toast of
any desired shade (excluding blue, green etc) in a fraction
of
the time taken by a conventional domestic toaster, even
when
it's working, which mine wasn't. It is far more effective than
a
brulée torch in this regard.
There is clearly a much-needed gap in the market,
therefore,
for a kitchefied version of the hot-air gun. It should have a
bread-wide, slot-shaped nozzle instead of a circular one
(although it would be cool to have an interchangeable
crumpet-sized nozzle), and should be more stainless-steely
and less green-and-black -plasticky. It should also be sold
with
a suitably heat-proof platter, on which to place the bread
during the toasting process, preferably with little clips to
hold
the bread to the heating blast.
Paul Hogan toast via blow torch pic
data:image/jpeg;bas...nTd0f74rFiMfJjdH//Z
[not_morrison_rm, Nov 21 2018]
Paul Hogan toast via blow torch video
https://youtu.be/YQRbTNN-jNE?t=24
Flipper remake [not_morrison_rm, Nov 22 2018]
MG42
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MG_42
1200 rounds a minute... [8th of 7, Nov 23 2018]
[link]
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//A 2kW hot air gun is capable of producing excellent
toast// |
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So there's another tool I *need* to buy. Actually, is there any
drying effect? I hate toast that gets all dried out in the
middle, which is the problem with one-side-at-a-time
grilling. I'd have thought the airflow might worsen the
problem. |
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You need to use it on the highest heat setting. On mine,
there are three settings: warm, high flow; hot, high-flow and
very hot, low flow. |
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Thought this might be a new toaster for the
Americans who want everything to be capable of
gunning down everything else that moves, or even
stays still. Toasts first, and asks 'what type of
bread?' later. |
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Alternatives (a la [xenzag] above):
Gun Toaster: sick of a cold gun in the morning? This will make your gun toasty-warm (please load AFTER toasting).
Gun Toaster: A new formal position in the NRA. <raises glass> "To the Gun! May it keep us safe forever more!"
But I do like the (actual) idea. |
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<raises glass> " Toast is the most - With butter or jam, we love it, goddamnit ! " |
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A Browning Machine Gun firing a few belts of ammunition out of your kitchen window generates enough heat to nicely brown your toast (hence the name) whilst also supplying enough boiling water from the water-cooling system to make a nice cup of tea. The neighbours complained a bit at first, and then suddenly stopped complaining. |
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Think it may have been the Vickers that was water cooled? |
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The problem (and there is one) with using machine guns to
make toast is that one often wants toast as emergency
medicine for a hangover. |
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// the Vickers that was water cooled? // |
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Indeed. But the air-defence variant of the Browning MMG has a water cooled option. Vehicle, infantry and aircraft versions are air-cooled, limiting the firing rate. |
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There are air-cooled variants of the Vickers (and its kissing cousin, the 7.92mm MG 08) which were used in WW1 aircraft. |
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For toast preparation, we commend to your attention the 7.92mm MG 42 <link>. Not only does it have a higher rate of fire than either the Vickers or the Browning, but the square, slotted barrel jacket provides a very convenient location for the bread. |
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A quick practical test on a .50 cal M2 Browning HMG (all that was immediately available), using a panini (all that was immediately available), shows that even with the larger diameter barrel it's quite difficult to balance, and as soon a firing starts it's jolted off. The .30-06 version would be even more challenging in terms of hot food preparation. |
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You're bluffing, [8th]. Nobody has easy access to panini. |
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OK, you caught us. We were bluffing ... it was just a cheese and ham roll, but "panini" sounds much more up-market, or at least three times the price for the same thing. |
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We'd have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you pesky kids ... |
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Yes, yes... but the Vickers has a more limited scope for puns, along the lines of "Well, it looks like my toast is nicely 'browning'..." |
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Is that the Maxim you live by, then... ? |
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Disregarding [xenzag]'s comment about Americans, I like this
idea! + |
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I often wonder why people make such absurd comments, but
then again I also don't act much like the "commercial"
American image that people assume we are all like! |
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It's a French thing, [xan]. |
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I love the smell of facepalm in the morning... |
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I haven't encountered anyone using a hot air gun to toast
bread. A blowtorch, yes, but not a hot air gun. |
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Interesting way of posting that first image. It has the
advantage that it will never disappear, as so many images
linked from this site do, unless that practice becomes
common and has to be disallowed for taking up too much
space in the database, in which case that's a disadvantage.
Further disadvantages are that my Chrome doesn't open it
with a middle-click—I have to right-click and choose "open
link in new tab"—and Imagus doesn't preview it, though I
think these are bugs in those pieces of software. |
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Another disadvantage, though it's in the idea rather than the
image-posting method, is that in North America, heat guns are
usually only
available up to 1.5 kW, for the same reason as kettles. |
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