h a l f b a k e r yVeni, vedi, fish velocipede
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I just read that precision-guided mortar shells are on their way to Afghanistan. This is not nice. It means we can now kill people with more precision. But still kill.
Perhaps it's time for radical non-lethal weapons to annoy terrorists.
This weapon consists of a precision-guided mortar containing
an ink that cannot be effaced. It will explode on top of the head of a terrorist and paint his face green. A follow-on bomb will add yellow or pink dots. We can design codes with colors.
Targetted terrorists are thus marked as idiots for the rest of their lives. Imagine a terrorist hiding out in some village, and the entire community can't stop laughing when seeing him. Punishment guaranteed.
In case we made a mistake, we can still send a precision-guided clean-the-face bomb to correct our (t)error.
Killing bad. Painting good. Peashe.
Paint Artillery
Paint_20artillery
You could combine it with this. [Wrongfellow, Mar 02 2011]
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Annotation:
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Easily circumvented when they wear their... (bushkas?... qaddafis?... nikons?...) face-scarves and pretend to be women. |
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Good critique. We thus have to imagine first launching a mortar that creates a torrential wind around the headscarf of said suspect to rip it off, exposing beard or in case no beard, no beard. |
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Military logic then follows: |
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-If no beard, signal is sent back: "hold, hold, hold". |
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-If beard indeed clearly identified: "proceed, proceed, proceed". |
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-Depending on beard qualitative criteria, color code decision protocol is engaged. |
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We need to prepare everything carefully, also including things with UAVs! |
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We are in the modern age of annoying bad people skillfully. I see a grandiose future for this sector. |
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I would imagine in some circles this paint scheme
would be come a badge of honor quickly. |
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Can't we just decide enough's enough and use nukes? |
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See that's exactly why you don't have any nukes of your own. |
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That's what you think. Oh, you meant the UK? I think we do. |
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I know the UK has them, but you're not allowed to touch them. |
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It's never troubled me. It seems rather unhygienic to use a
communal nuclear arsenal. You never know whose finger has
been on the button. |
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The whole strategy of nuclear deterrence might have just been a miscommunication when it was ordered to have the button 'deturd'. |
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It's possible they were referring to my then security man. He
was a good man, Terry. |
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Or rather nuclear disarmament was a preventative measure to keep the button clean. |
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Actually Mrs. Prolapse used to do the button, since she was
responsible for the Study in the East-South-East Wing. She
did have a habit of buffing it with very unnerving vigour. |
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//Can't we just decide enough's enough and use nukes?//
Nukes aren't for when enough's enough. Nukes are for when
only "too much" is enough. |
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The only way this idea would be good is if the paint was IR-reflective to mark the terrorists as targets for real bombs. White phosphorus bombs. |
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//the Study in the East-South-East Wing//
Git! [starts drawing over from scratch...again]. |
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//East-South-East// - [Max-B] lives in an area of random geomagnetic disturbances |
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Not quite east, but also not quite southeast, som'ere in thar. |
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//[starts drawing over from scratch...again]// |
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I should also specify that I mean the UPPER E.S.E. wing. |
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When you hired your architect, did you choose M. C. Escher on a whim, or was he recommended by the previous chap (Salvador Dali, wasn't it ?) |
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Don't talk to me about bloody architects. World's best guy
for cellars (he says). And world's best guy for ornamental
lakes (he says). Do they bloody talk to eachother before
starting? Do they?? |
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Anyway, back to the topic. |
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Could have a third bomb filled with helium - then they'd sound funny too:O) |
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What you want is millions of tiny ink needles made of something that dissolves after a while in water leaving the ink behind. Of course for the blowback (blinded child with a polkadot face on the cover of Newsweek anyone?) you may as well use Willie Pete or Napalm but it would be less fatal in the immediate term. |
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