h a l f b a k e r y"This may be bollocks, but it's lovely bollocks."
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Gravity Police will call at any time to make sure that you are in full compliance with the law.
They have the authority to pick up and drop you, or any object in your home, over a measured distance; record the time taken to complete the fall, and calculate the gravitational constant from the results.
Punishments for defying the law in this matter are severe; up to and including having all of your possessions thrown off a cliff to verify that you have made them comply.
Under development: EBI (Entropy Bureau of Investigation) You really don't want Them to call.
YIKES!!!
Helium_20Charged_20Dog_20Food
I hope they don't confiscate my dog!!! [Grogster, Jul 08 2011]
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Eeeeek ! We use artificial gravity in our Cube .... |
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Will there be Detector Vans ? |
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You have been reported, and I get a reward. Start nailing everything to the floor - that really confuses them. |
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If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so. |
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All bodies are equal in the eyes of the law of gravity. How much more just can you get? |
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I find this law to be neither morally right nor fair and it is in need of at least getting a bit bent... same as the lightspeed limit. |
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I can't drive 670,616,629 mph. |
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You just don't get it [bigsleep] |
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Leaning towers are notoriously inaccurate. [+] |
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Funny, just the other day after realizing I have in the past purchased water, air, and dirt, I pondered the establishment of a gravity tax. |
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Doorbel rings. Sound of several toilets flushing
simultaneously. Angry voice shouts "I *told* you to
stick a pin in that balloon before putting it down the
john!" |
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//Er, no. Explain.// [bigsleep] - Police enforce the law. There is a law of gravity. Therefore there are police to enforce that law. These enforcers are known as Gravity Police. They bring highly accurate measuring equipment to make sure that you are in compliance. They punish you if they detect any infringement. The testing process is destructive. The punishment for any recorded gravitational deviation is even more destructive and severe. The Gravity Police are to be feared. Respect the Law of Gravity in your home at all times! |
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Nope.
While it may be an attactive concept, I find it repulsive in nature. |
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I was wondering what kind of uniform they wear? |
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//Police enforce the law.// |
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This one's self en-"force"-ing. Any officers who applied any addition or diminution of the already occurring force would be in violation themselves. |
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They wouldn't be applying any additional force... just dropping stuff, and making a measurement to see if it was in compliance. Standards must be maintained. |
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There are a whole bunch of other laws that don't
have special constables employed to police
individually. What with the; Thermodynamic
Police, The Gas Police (aka The Boyle Police), The
Newton Police (regarding Motion in general, rather
than Gravity in particular) The Ohm Police, Gauss
Police,
Faraday Police, The Godwin Police, The Moore
Police, The Azimov Police, The Cole Police
(entrusted to uphold Cole'slaw), The Murphy
Police, The Benford Police, The Hooke Police...
and before long, you're running a police state. |
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Also, are the Gravity Police Newtonian, or
Einstinian? Since 1916 when General Relativity was
published, this should supersede Newton's 'Law',
with a more geometric description of gravity (that
more closely matched observations e.g. Mercury,
which didn't quite 'go' with the old Newtonian
'Laws' - presumably the Gravity Police would have
to arrest the whole planet, and drop it...though,
I'm not sure onto what) Do they even have
jurisdiction any more? |
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not to mention the shredded cabbages police. |
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[zen tom] I was wondering how long it would take you to surface with one of your lists..... Gravity is the most serious of all laws, being the most inscrutable, but also the one that folk like to attempt to defy with regularity. Machines are even available for which people will actually pay money to check their gravitational index. |
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[FlyingToaster] - I wondered when Coles was going to show up... |
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[xenzag] I do like a list - truly the hammer in the toolbox of discourse. |
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Also, relativistic issues aside, wouldn't we need to measure the *mass* of a person/object independently of any gravitational flim-flammery? Those "weighing" machines you refer to merely infer mass based on the tenuous assumption that they are to be used here (or for those who are otherwise located; there) on Earth. |
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//the hammer in the toolbox of discourse//
Excellent! Ten points. |
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//wouldn't we need to measure the *mass* of a person// That would be the business of the Holy See, and would probably require and inquisitorial process. Do you really want to bring them into this? |
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//probably require and inquisitorial process// Also,
destructive testing. |
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[zen_tom] I had those Hooke Police around my place the other day. They were looking for joints. |
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// probably require and inquisitorial process. Do you really want to bring them into this? // |
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<Obligatory Python Reference> |
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"I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition !" |
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Now I'm wondering if I should also launch a Gravy Police Branch to check for lumps. |
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It does shine a new light on the expression "getting the
drop on" someone... |
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// Gravy Police Branch to check for lumps // |
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You're just stirring things up ... |
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