h a l f b a k e r yGuitar Hero: 4'33"
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It is known that elephants can learn to use
touchscreen-based smartphones. They can
also be taught to read and probably type human
languages. [links]
I propose giving every wild elephant a smartphone.
These elephant smartphones would be larger than human
smartphones, for easy trunk
operation
and viewing at trunk's length, and should be
made to be waterproof and
durable. As well, the screen should be sunlight-readable.
I suggest e-paper, or maybe a
Pixel Qi hybrid screen [link], so photos can be taken and
viewed. This would also
conserve energy.
The elephant would be fitted with a harness to hold the
phone, probably on the chest
where it can easily be reached with the trunk. The phone
would be connected to the
harness by a mechanical arm, which could be pulled out
to hold the phone in front of the
elephant so it could be operated using the trunk.
Alternatively, the phone could be carried in a backpack,
and pulled out and placed on the ground by the elephant
to be used. Solar
panels would be mounted at the
top of the harness, over the elephant's shoulders. The
harness should probably be
composed of straps with gaps between them, rather than
continuous wide fabric, to avoid
itching and harboring pests and dirt.
The phone would have to communicate by satellite,
probably, because I doubt there's
sufficient cell coverage over the entire range of
elephants. It would also have a GPS
receiver and report the elephants' locations to
conservationists and counter-poachers.
The harness would have sensors for heart rate,
body/ambient temperature, and motion. If
these indicated a problem, an alert would be sent out.
The elephants could voluntarily call a veterinarian if they
were feeling unwell, using an
app on the phone. This app would also enable them to
communicate their health issues
more effectively, by e.g. tapping on symptoms on the
screen or sending photos of injuries.
With another app, they could report sightings of
poachers, and even send photos of
them. If the poachers succeeded in approaching and/or
killing an elephant, the phone
would stream video to counter-poachers to help track
down the poachers.
The GPS tracking would could be useful for alerting
farmers to elephants approaching, so
they can prepare to defend their farms in less elephant-
harmful ways. It would also be
useful to help elephants find each other in the wild, if
there are times when or places
where their infrasound communication doesn't work well,
though I think the phone
would have to be equipped with infrasonic transducers if
voice calls were to be possible.
Of course, there'd also be an elephant-optimized version
of Tinder.
33/194
P.S. Can we have a public: ecology: anti-poaching
category? The anti-poaching ideas are
currently scattered among many tangentially related
categories.
Elephant using a smartphone
https://wayback.arc...ng-the-galaxy-note/ mentioned in idea [notexactly, Mar 28 2017]
Teaching an elephant to read (1884)
https://books.googl...20to%20read&f=false mentioned in idea [notexactly, Mar 28 2017]
Pixel Qi
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pixel_Qi mentioned in idea [notexactly, Mar 28 2017]
[link]
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If you phone an elephant, is it a free call, or do they charge ? |
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That depends on the trunk line ... |
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If the NSA were to listen in, would that be a tap on the nose ? |
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If one of them roams away from a group hot spot it just isn't herd anymore. |
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Smartphone design has one fatal flaw where elephants are concerned - because elephants hear through their feet, the phone would be crushed every time an elephant tries to receive a call! |
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And of course, having no opposable thumbs, or ANY thumbs at all for that matter, your typical garden-variety elephant would be completely unable to power up their smartphone. |
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Give Tame/captive Elephants Smartphones - Set for local calls only |
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// typical garden-variety elephant // |
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An elephant in the garden is seen by the vast majority of horticulturalsts as a Bad Thing, whatever its variety. While not as bad as an Elephant In The Room, an Elephant In The Garden is equally difficult to completely ignore, particularly as their droppings are remarkably efficient at encouraging the growth of plants. |
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// unable to power up their smartphone. // |
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Trained monkeys would be the answer. The monkeys could ride on the elephants, and have the necessary manual dexterity to operate the handset controlls. |
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//An elephant in the garden is seen by the vast majority of horticulturalsts as a Bad Thing,// |
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Oh, don't be silly, [8th]. Who do you know that doesn't have at least a few acres of garden set aside for exotic species? My Head of North-West Gardening has - only yesterday - returned from a detailed survey of the savannah-themed borders, and tells me that the 'phants are thriving. Of course, silly me, I told him that they wouldn't get on _at all_ with the wildebeest herds - but he was right: they don't seem to mind them at all. |
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His (that is to say, the H of NWG's) father always used to say "a garden without elephants is like a bacon sandwich without pickled onions" (although he said it with a stammer ever since the trampling - but you had to see the funny side). |
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