h a l f b a k e r yNaturally, seismology provides the answer.
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The whole toilet paper hoarding thing for an ailment that
does not target the poop chute makes no sense at all.
For the next pandemic I propose that a small, select group of
individuals (I don't know, us?) decide on a product that nobody
really needs but that is available everywhere and produced
entirely with local ingredients. Coca Cola for example. We
tout the benefits of said product and determine that having it
in great abundance will protect one from the current malady.
When the buying spree begins we all buy that product's stock
and ride it up, selling it all when it begins to taper off.
[link]
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"It's a million-to-one chance, but it might just work ..." |
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I've been secretly informed that playing the accordion is an
amazing treatment for Corvid-20. |
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// playing the accordion is an amazing treatment // |
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It certainly is; after you've been incinerated in a Wicker Man for your sins by a rampaging mob, you're guaranteed to be free from infection. |
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Dead, of course, but definitely free from infection. |
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// Lurgi - that can only be warded off with brass band instruments. // |
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What ? Is the Moriarty Patent Conk-Protector of no value in such circumstances ? |
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Is our Batter Pudding in danger ? |
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//Make money off gullibility and panic// [m-f-d] widely known to exist |
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Ohhhh, villains and horrors, ohhhh ! Where's our emergency escape bass drum ! Now, Ellinger, a gallon of Seagoon's Last Stand special vintage Albanian BRANNDDDYYYYYY ! |
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<Sound of glugging and bass drum being thumped, dubbed over receeding running boots/> |
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