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Genie Lawyer

 Eliminate the confusion
  (+6, -1)
(+6, -1) 		  [vote for,
against]

It's clear that there is a definite need of greater communication skills when it comes to negotiating wishes with genies.

The Genie Lawyer will specialize in representing your wishes in clear, concise language, taking into account potential misunderstandings and building in enforceable liability clauses. The profession will put an end to the inadvertent creation of small-craniumed men, foot-tall piano players, and disliked persons getting twice as much.

—waugsqueke, Mar 14 2003

Bunny + Bear + Genie joke http://members.trip...r/sneaky_bunny.html
[Jinbish, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]

[link]






       Oh yes.
—my face your, Mar 14 2003
   

       I thought this would be a lamp that you rubbed and a lawyer came out.
—8th of 7, Mar 14 2003
   

       I wish this idea made sense.
<poof>
Darn, now *I'm* waugsqueke.
—PeterSilly, Mar 14 2003
   

       Would they also negotiate terms when selling one's soul to the Devil?
—oneoffdave, Mar 14 2003
   

       That's called a "pre-nuptial agreement", [dave]. Besides which, I wouldn't trust a lawyer to draw up a contract like that as they're all Acolytes of Satan anyway.
—8th of 7, Mar 14 2003
   

       This guy walks into a bar followed by an ostrich and a cat... (+)
—X2Entendre, Mar 14 2003
   

       Guy finds an empty bottle on the beach, rubs the label and out pops a genie.
Genie says, "I'll grant you three wishes, but whatever you wish for, I'm going to give double that to your ex-wife."
Guy thinks for a bit, then wishes for ten million dollars.
Genie says, "Done, but the ex get twenty."
Next the guy wishes for A five thousand square foot home on the beach with a Ferrari, a helicopter and a jet boat.
The ex-wife now has a ten thousand square foot home, two helicopters, two Ferrari’s and two boats.
Genie says, "You only have one wish remaining, better make it a good one".


Guy says, "I want you to beat me half to death".

Ba Dum Tsh.		   

       Yes, see? That's exactly the problem. The other common variation is, "I want you to take out one of my kidneys." Something has to be done.
—waugsqueke, Mar 14 2003
   

       "Nixon, Moriarty and Capone: Service Level Agreements negotiated with Plenipotent Supernatural Entities. Money back if not delighted. "
—8th of 7, Mar 14 2003
   

       What if the genie brings his own lawyer?
—snarfyguy, Mar 14 2003
   

       1) He can't. He doesn't use money, so genie can't pay.   

       2) Then the legal costs would severely outweigh the benefit of having 3 wishes.
—LoneRifle, Mar 14 2003
   

       LoneRifle: Something always seems to outweigh the benefit of having three wishes in these scenarios, doesn't it?
—snarfyguy, Mar 14 2003
   

       Simply because you've never seen it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. For example, have you ever seen the far side of the moon?
—PeterSilly, Mar 14 2003
   

       Irishman accidentally finds a magic Guinness bottle which he rubs. Out pops an Irish genie who offers him two wishes (can't count any higher). He asks for a bottle of Guinness that's never empty, and the genie produces it. Irishman samples it, proclaims it good, and the genie asks what else he wants. Taking another swig, the Irishman says, "That's great; I'll have another one of those."
—angel, Mar 14 2003
   

       .... perhaps, snarfyguy, perhaps.... i was hoping you would notice the first one though...
—LoneRifle, Mar 14 2003
   

       Genietic Modification?
—RayfordSteele, Mar 14 2003
   

       Two Iowans are out fishing when one reels in a magic lamp. Out pops a genie who offers the Iowan one wish. "I wish this lake was full of beer!" bellows the Iowan. Poof - and the lake becomes sweet sweet beer. "Great," says his buddy. "Now we gotta piss in the boat!".   

       Thank you! Goodnight!
—bungston, Mar 14 2003
   

       LoneRifle: Stop getting all "reality" on me. We're talking about genies!   

       Mmmm Barbara Eden. Hubba hubba!
—snarfyguy, Mar 14 2003
   

       oh... right..... take a look at answer 1) then....
—LoneRifle, Mar 15 2003
   

       I've asked one, and they prefer to be called Djin.   

       A man with a very small head is sitting in a bar. A patron musters up the nerve to ask “Why is your head so small”? The man politely replies “A while back I was stuck on an island alone for quite some time when I discovered a bottle washed ashore. When I rubbed off the algae, the top opened and a genie appeared. He granted me but one wish. I said – well, a little head would be nice”.
—Shz, Mar 15 2003
   

       A termite walks into a bar and asks "Is the bartender here?"
—bungston, Mar 15 2003
   

       A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie popped up out of his ashtray and said, 'And what will your third wish be?' The man looked at the genie and said, 'Huh? How can I be getting a third wish when I haven't had a first or second wish yet?'   

       'You have had two wishes already,' the genie said, 'but your second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your first wish. Thus, you remember nothing, because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes. You have one wish left.'   

       'Okay,' said the man, 'I don't believe this, but what the heck. I wish I were irresistible to women.'   

       'Funny,' said the genie as it granted his wish and disappeared forever. 'That was your first wish, too.'
—FarmerJohn, Mar 16 2003
   
      
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