Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Geekoo Clock

 "Loser"
 
(0) 		  [vote for,
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Looks like a normal clock, perhaps a little gaudy but otherwise harmless in appearance. Every hour a mis-shapen dwarf -like creature shoots out of a portal and delivers a puerile one-word insult. At random intervals and for no apparent reason, the creature re-appears and launches into a complete rant about nothing in particular.

On the deluxe version, the feature can be turned off if required, via an infra red remote switch in the form of a 12-bore shotgun, to the accompaniment of a large gout of blue and purple flame and an enormous bang. Only works once.

Thanks to [UB] for unwitting inspiration.

—egbert, Jan 17 2003

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       I'll take a full case, and two boxes of shotgun shells.
—8th of 7, Jan 17 2003
   

       I want one. As long as you can shut it up at night. How would you ensure a good variety of rants? Perhaps it could have an internet connection to download editorials from right-wing newspaper columnists.
—kropotkin, Jan 17 2003
   

       A cuckoo clock with tourette's syndrome? I want one!
—X2Entendre, Jan 17 2003
   

       What? No dwarf tossing?
—barnzenen, Jan 17 2003
   

       No, no, it's a troll, not an owl!
—egbert, Jan 17 2003
   

       Mmm...Milk...slice of bread, anyone?
—talen, Jan 20 2003
   


 

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