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Frustration Relieving, Screaming-Paper Shredder

 A gift for the boss
  (+8, -1)
(+8, -1) 		  [vote for,
against]

To match his demeanor.

"Aiiiiiiieee!!!" shrieked the piece of paper (seemingly) as it was torn to bits in the shredder....

The reason was thus so: To get someones boss off their back, they must take out their meaningless frustration on someone. This is usually a worker, who can be yelled at without consequences.

Instead, give them the shredder. It makes various screaming noises when activated, thus reducing their sadistic impulsted usually vented upon their workers.

—DesertFox, Jan 04 2006

Operator Papier-Mâchè Modelling Shredder Operator_20Papier-M...odelling_20Shredder
[hippo, Jan 05 2006]

[link]






       Sorry about the unfinished earlier version. My fault, I accidentaly posted it early, didnt realize, and just checked it.   

       The idea was deleted, then reposted.   

       The idea is: boss takes frustrations out by torturing paper instead of workers.   

       My humble apology,
DesertFox
—DesertFox, Jan 04 2006
   

       Ah. Now I see. ;-) Torture shredder.
—bristolz, Jan 04 2006
   

       Unfortunately, weeks went by, while poor Billy was screaming for help, tied up in the office. Everyone just assumed it was a harmless novelty paper shredder.
—sophocles, Jan 04 2006
   

       MuahHaHa…
—reensure, Jan 04 2006
   

       what reensure shred. nice spelling.
—rainbow, Jan 04 2006
   

       Having worked in several offices with screaming laser printers, this isn't quite as effective a stress reliever as you might hope.
—DrCurry, Jan 04 2006
   

       Muahaha! And rainbow has been caught by the Pedant Trap.   

       What it is, all shall be told later.....
—DesertFox, Jan 04 2006
   

       I think both spellings are acceptable. Should one start a sentence with "And"?
—rainbow, Jan 04 2006
   

       are you baggsing Pedant Trap?
—rainbow, Jan 04 2006
   

       If I might be so bold as to add a half-twist optional add-on to the idea...   

       Roughly sketched concept: Make the whole thing an add-on for an existing shredder. A printer/paper feed and user interface device stacks on top of the shredder with a space between the stack-on and the shredder.   

       * Insert paper to be shredded
* Press button with picture of frustrating employee
* Unit prints picture of frustrating employee on the paper progressively as paper feeds in to shredder
* Portion of picture is visible below the printer, above the shredder intake
* Unit plays synthesized screaming voice that most closely matches voice of selected employee
—half, Jan 04 2006
   

       Yes, rainbow, I am.   

       [half] Hee hee!
—DesertFox, Jan 04 2006
   

       OK, i'm having Pedant Trip.
—rainbow, Jan 04 2006
   

       What if you're tie gets caught, and you're screaming for help?   

       Shredder eats your face, and no one comes to help.
—notmarkflynn, Jan 04 2006
   

       [DrCurry] has a valid point. The noise in question might soothe the boss, but one must wonder: What is worse for the attitude of the employee? Brief outbursts from angry overseer? Or consistent screeching from mechanical object? I forsee certain scenes from Office Space. However, if we're going all the way, why not combine the concept with the recently proposed Operator Papier-Mâchè Modelling Shredder by [hippo]. When integrated with the Frustration Relieving, Screaming-Paper Shredder it brings your boss the satisfaction, not only an image of the obnoxious employee to be shredded, as [half] suggests, but an entire 3 dimensional replica! One can choose from any of several positions such as Writhing in Agony or Kneeling in Supplication. The technology attatched to the shredder would probably need to be designed along the lines of a three dimensional printer, found at <http://www.zcorp.com/> and could, when realized, be broadened out of the workplace to other frustrating areas of life. That went on for much longer than I anticipated, but I hope you get the idea. Also +!
—Yarr, Jan 04 2006
   

       How about headphones?
—DesertFox, Jan 04 2006
   

       [To get someone's boss of their back} - I usually find that scraping myself against the edge of a table is a very effective method of dislodging an unwelcomed boss +
—xenzag, Jan 05 2006
   

       //Sorry about the unfinished earlier version. My fault, I accidentaly......//   

       Yeah, right.You set your World Time Drinking Clock to..
Holsten-Brauerei
Hamburg-Time		   

       Didn't ya?
—skinflaps, Jan 05 2006
   

       I agree with [Yarr] - an alternative approach is to use the Operator Papier-Mâchè Modelling Shredder (linked) in "Voodoo Doll" mode.
—hippo, Jan 05 2006
   
      
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