Frameless Sunglasses

I note that the glass eyebaths supplied with antique bottles of Optrex can be firmly attached to the face by forcing out some of the air trapped between eyeball and receptacle. So, in my continuing quest for 24-hour evenings, I suggest this.

The product consists of two polarised, UV filtering, shaded or photochromatic sunglass lenses shaped to rest neatly in front of the eye sockets, a tube of some latex or silicon style gel that will form an airtight seal against skin, and a hypodermic plunger attached to a short, thin plastic tube. They are moulded to the individual face by lying down with lenses in place, piping sealant around the edge, and leaving to dry, then worn by holding in position whilst sucking out a comfortable volume of air using the plunger, and removed by means of comical facial contortions and squishy noises.

The advantages over framed shades are that they totally block peripheral dazzling and harsh overhead lighting, do not impede the occasional use of regular spectacles for reading or driving, and of course make you look like a Grey and/or the cyborg character in Neuromancer.

If no-one manages to dissuade me with hideous medical warnings, I'm going to hunt down the parts and bake this one. The only viable alternative appears to be moving somewhere further from the sun.