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Frame Underwear

All-over frame preventing skin contact
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I often lose track of how often I've worn something and end up washing it anyway, which is wasteful, time- consuming and probably wears it out more quickly. This concern has recently been expressed here but I forget who did it.

Clothing, at least in my case mainly gets dirty through contact with the skin of the wearer. This contact can be reduced via underwear, but there was at least one item of clothing which rarely or never touched the wearer, viz. the hoop skirt. My idea is broadly that before dressing, one should don an all-over garment consisting of an articulated body-shaped net made of elastic rods with inward projections from the intersections onto which spongy or adhesive pads can be placed. In order to prepare the garment, one starts with it inside out and places the pads onto the projections, thereby preventing direct body contact. One then proceeds to put the garment on by eversion from the legs upward before putting any outer clothing on, thereby preventing most opportunities for sebum, skin, sweat and the like to besmirch the clothing.

The length of the projections is determined by the ideal, also known as non-existent, differences in measurements between one's own clothing size and the next size up, the shell being the latter size.

It wouldn't completely obliterate dirt of course, since sources of dirt emanate from the outside world as well as the body, but it would virtually eliminate one source of muck. Sitting down would be entirely comfortable due to the bed of nails effect of spreading the weight out. There could be a pudendal hatchway to allow the egress of fluids and other such matter.

Replace the pads daily. I think maybe you get a toothpaste tube thingy and anoint the projections each night.

The outer clothing could then partly be vacuumed clean.

nineteenthly, May 04 2016

Sptangdex Sptangdex
Stiffer but similar [nineteenthly, May 04 2016]

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       This obviously makes it easy for women to have bulging bustlines, and for men to have bulging chests. Why am I now suddenly thinking of codpieces?
Vernon, May 04 2016
  

       That's true [Vernon], and also wings and tails.
nineteenthly, May 04 2016
  

       So, not so much Iron Man as Bendy Straw Man.
FlyingToaster, May 04 2016
  

       Well, you could get a choice as to how stiff you want your underwear I suppose. In that sense this merges into Sptangdex (see link).
nineteenthly, May 04 2016
  

       "The world is not only stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine."
MaxwellBuchanan, May 04 2016
  

       I think a drysuit is like this, except instead of elastic rods you have warm, scented air. Probably it still touches at the wrists, ankles and collar.
bungston, May 05 2016
  

       Yes. The daily replacement of the pads would clearly be less wasteful than, you know, washing clothes, because ...
pertinax, May 07 2016
  

       [19thly] - is all of this just an elaborate excuse for you to wear a crinoline?
MaxwellBuchanan, May 07 2016
  

       I suddenly think I know how Gumby must feel.
blissmiss, May 07 2016
  

       He was framed I tells ya!   


 

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