h a l f b a k e r yYou gonna finish that?
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My Mum wouldn't buy pop-tarts when I was a kid because they melted so many children's faces off. For the same reason, despite being a child of the 80s, I wasn't allowed a shell suit either. |
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Awww, [skinflaps], I was enjoying the word 'oracular' before you meanly took it away. |
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If "oracular prophecies" were used I doubt that there would be much room for the filling. |
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Right, follow me on this one. In ancient Greece, in the oracles of Delphi and elsewhere, prophecies were translated by priests from the gibbering ramblings of the oracle women. These women were in a cave beneath the temple, getting high on the fumes of burning toxic plants. Now, if we were to identify what plant it was, extract the chemical that when burnt, and inhaled, makes you do a wobbly and speak in tongues, we could then frost the pop-tarts with this compound. |
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Then you could cook them up in the toaster in the morning, take a deep breath and gibber your own oracular prophecies to your kids at the breakfast table before school. Although you probably shouldn't drive them straight after. |
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Impregnating convenience food with heat-activated halluginogens? - I like it, although I am disappointed that you once yearned for a shell suit. |
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//I am disappointed that you once yearned for a shell suit.// |
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That's the sort of message I would expect to find buried within the filling of a hot Pop-Tart. |
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//fortune-tarts// - a new name for gold-diggers? |
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Why is this under "ha-ha dangerous"? |
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Because, well it was until moved. |
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Because they're so damned hot when they pop out of the toaster, the filling is like volcanic err.. filling.I would have thought that the header would have prompted that suggestion, after all that's why I put it there. |
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I can't be bothered to move it back, I'll just delete it at 3:35 GMT, that's when I usually burn my fingers. |
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