h a l f b a k e r ycarpe demi
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This would be useful for those carrying heavy shopping (yes this was inspired by the pushmepullyou thing) or extremely drunk people. It's very simple. Scale up fingerprint scanner; place in centre of door. Apply bonce to scanner; scanner recognizes bonce and allows entry, or does not recognize bonce
and applies electric shock. Get away from my door, you freak!
Comes with free stepladder for dwarves.
Incidentally, does anybody else find the idea of an aircraft recognition competition screamingly funny, or is it just me? [does voiceover impression] "Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Yep, it's a plane."
[link]
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I suppose everyone does have a different forehead... but different enough for a fingerprint scanner to tell the difference? Otherwise it could lead to frustrating nights sleeping outside, anvil by your side, hair on end with static and a throbbing pain as your brain cells die from impact shock. |
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Monty Burns has a facial recognition system similar to this. See episode "Last Exit to Springfield" |
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...how will it deal with bangs, glasses, and hats? |
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Each person's head makes a distinctive sound as it hits the door... |
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[robinism] I think there are only so many different types of 'thump' noise |
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Could always do a quick DNA scan, I guess. (I was rather perturbed to discover that I leave a head print when I lean against windows and shiny elevator doors.) |
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//bangs, glasses and hats//reminds me of a public house version of "eats,shoots and leaves". |
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Leaning forward past a heavy package is difficult. Use a softer portion of anatomy halfway down. Less painful to bounce against the door, too. |
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I imagine the poor drunken fellows bashing their heads against the nearby walls, thinking, 'Ere, theesh door would be eeshier to open if I had a shtupid key'. |
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Maybe a coded knock?
"Knock-knock, , knock-a-tee-knock"
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This would work if you stamped it with your feet, or hit your head at the wrong door, even. |
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