h a l f b a k e r yI CAN HAZ CROISSANTZ?
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When you have want your previously carpeted wooden floors sanded down and varnished, until now has been a lot of tiresome work, but not any more. You just need to have a Floor Sanding Party.
For this you will need multiple sets of foot shaped slip-ons that the guests put on when they arrive. These
are like in-soles, only they go on the outside of the shoes, and are held in place by simple elasticated straps.
They come in a variety of sizes, shapes and grades of sand, so that as the night progresses, guests are gradually introduced to finer particle soles to finish off the job. Loitering and shuffling around along the edges of the room and in tight corners with pointy shoes is particularly encouraged.
Special break-dancing, sand coated waist-coats are also available for the more adventurous revellers, who like to spin around on the floor on their backs.
"I ain't got nobody....." Mills Brothers
http://www.youtube....watch?v=ruLIkHIIuwE
wonderful, and perfect for sanding! [xenzag, Dec 30 2008]
Juke Box Joes
http://www.youtube....K_8&feature=related
will there be any floor boards left after this lot? [xenzag, Dec 30 2008]
[link]
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You had better include masks or there'll be a floor sanding party class action suit. |
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I forsee grooves between the keg and the chips. Not the groovy kind of grooves, either. |
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Special stiletto edging tool? |
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You've never sanded a floor before, have you. |
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Actually I have sanded several complete floors. All recent ones were done using "proper" hired equipment - but for the first one I ever did all I had to use was a hand held, belt sander, so I had to traverse the floor on my hands and knees. It was back-breaking, hard and dirty work (I did have the loan of a good air-feed mask), followed by 5 coats of Rustin's varnish, with hand "wire-wooling" in between each coat. I know that the idea of sanding using shoe-slip ons is a foolish notion.... but then that's why it's here! |
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Yeah - the hand-held belt sander option. Tried that. My back divorced me. |
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// I know that the idea of sanding using shoe-slip ons is a foolish
notion.... but then that's why it's here! // |
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You often adopt that attitude to defend against criticism of your ideas.
It's a bit defeatist isn't it? It's like saying everything you write on here
isn't worth twoddle, and, by association, you're implying that neither is
anything I've written on here, or [wags] or [bungston] or anyone else. |
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It's a bit like Samuel Beckett intentionally deconstructing the illusion of
his plays, grounding the audience in reality and reminding them that
the story they're watching isn't real, it's just a play, and really, all things
being considered, doesn't mean twoddle. Although a groundbreaking
artistic concept at the time, it''s a just a bit shit to watch. |
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may I have this dance ? + |
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//It's a bit like Samuel Beckett intentionally...// no it's not unless you chose this depth of comparison, which I think is rather over the top. Have a cream bun for your next idea instead of a croissant, you sound like you need some new year cheer. Come around to my house, and you can do the sandy-shuffle to the strains of the Andrews Sisters or even the Mills Brothers :-) [see link] |
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I was just trying to convey that prolonging the illusion is more fun than
destroying it. In this case, rallying behind your idea is more fun than
defending your sullied knowledge of sanding floors. |
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When an author says his own work is worthless, why should others
read it? |
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Because authors are sometimes their own harshest critics. |
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Foolish and worthless are not the same thing at all. |
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//may I have this dance ?// - lindy hop or jive? I do both equally badly. |
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Presuming the sand-paper oversoles are attached to feet that are attached to legs that have a common point (pelvis) plus a knee that has only certain operations related to the geometry of the intial structure. And presuming you have bipedal guests, you could still sand a three sphere, coutesy of Grisha Perelman. |
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This must take true grit. |
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