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Flatulence Reodorizer

Replace malodorous with...uhm...bonodorous!
 
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Very few things are more embarrassing than clearing out a room after a nice lunch of bean and cheese burritos, especially for those of us who very much value our public standing.

Farting in public is, after all, still a taboo thing to do, not only because of the noise it creates and the region of discharge, but also because some of us value our senses of smell, and a good ripper can render us unable to detect even the finest roses. Then there's the churlish giggling...and don't forget that methane, the major ingredient in flatulence, is flammable.

And, for people with Crohn's disease, which can create gas bad enough to melt tungsten, it's not just a laughing matter - fear of farting can render people homebound.

So I propose a fart reodorizer - not to be confused with those pansy little DEodorizers.

Reodorization would be simple - just construct a patch with a gel bound to flavor esters (strawberry, lilac, different kind of fart), and design the gel so that it binds to methane more strongly than to the esters. When a flatulent burst passes through the charcoal filter and over the gel, the gel binds to the methane, releasing the flavor ester.

The more methane-heavy the original expulsion, the more sweet-smelling the result. Huzzah!

shapu, May 11 2004

Flat-D dot com. http://www.flat-d.com/
Just so you're aware of the basics of a deodorizer [shapu, Oct 05 2004]

Fart Proudly http://www.amazon.c...34-5899018?v=glance
Ben Franklin, Pioneer Half-Baker [justaguy, Oct 05 2004]

Facts on Farts http://www.heptune.com/farts.html
Excessive information on... well farts of course [shmazproducts, Oct 05 2004]

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       I would tend to fishbone an idea like this, but the link is priceless+
theircompetitor, May 11 2004
  

       yes the link is priceless. thankfully they did not list proper names (only generic sufferers of various g.i. maladies) under the head "who needs flat-d?" was half expecting to see my dad's name there.
xclamp, May 11 2004
  

       If you can make one in 'digested dog food' smell, I can blame the live-in flea bag.
ConsulFlaminicus, May 12 2004
  

       So, [shapu], your invention adds gel to an already existing fart pad? Bit thin on the inventing for a halfbaked good, don't you think?   

       (great links, both)
k_sra, May 12 2004
  

       "Now is the time for groin odor control."
-- from the Flat-D link.
phundug, May 12 2004
  

       This is just stupid.
bristolz, May 13 2004
  


 

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