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Instead of a foolish bird coming out and chirping at preset times, a figure dressed in military attire emerges and shoots out a jet of napalm from a miniature flamethrower.
By necessity, this entire arrangement is contained in a fireproof enclosure to avoid burning down your house, and to capture
the resulting fumes. (except for first thing in the morning)
Larger complex deluxe version features a Crocodile Flamethrower Tank that also makes toast.
[link]
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Here that sound of hammering on your door ? |
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You have customers. It's us. |
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As an alarm clock, that really does Smell Of Napalm In The Morning, it's brilliant. |
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(Of course, we suspect a trap. It couldn't be anything else. But the concept is enthralling...) |
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Ordinance clock has no face. It sets series of explosions detonations and other destructive noises each minute so you always know what time it is. |
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This needs detcord somewhere in the design... [+] |
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Given a scaled-down nozzle, would you need to reduce the
proportion of gelling agent in the mix, so as to prevent the
device from getting blocked up like a little bottle of
concentrated washing-up liquid? |
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No, the gellng agents are selected to exhibit thixotropy, thining under the shear stress in the nozzle but then returning to the gel form in flight so that they stick to the target. |
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Sweet revenge on old Autie Biddy, who sits and criticizes the
living room decor and shuns your scones and stares with
distaste at your Cuckoo Clock on the wall, so much so that at
the stroke of noon she must get up and get a closer look.
Hahahaha |
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Indeed. Hey [bliss], come and take a closer look at our lovely new clock ... |
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Put on a red "Snooze/EOD" button. With a random function... sometimes
you get "That was easy!", and sometimes you don't. |
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Add chemicals for different colours at different times. |
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I'm not sure about the soldier though. I had kind of pictured
the foolish bird popping out and shooting fire from it's beak. |
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Why not a tiny dragon, then ? |
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An ornate clock made to look like a medieval castle, with a dragon that popped out of a turret and blew out a little* jet of burning butane every hour would sell well to the Game of Thrones enthusiasts ... |
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*We repeat, yet again, just for the record, BorgCo are NOT responsible for any damage, serious injury or death caused by any use, misuse or abuse of any BorgCo product or device. |
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A dragon is too obvious. How about a llama? |
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A llama would spit globs of regurgitated semi-digested grass, rather than a jet of fire. |
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What about a lama ? Buddhist wisdom would probably be quite acceptable... |
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//Crocodile Flamethrower Tank that also makes toast.// |
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You had me at Churchill Crocodile.. [+] |
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"Sergeant ! Target thirty left, range one hundred, thick sliced wholemeal ... for medium dark, two rounds, FIRE !" |
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<sogyal rinpoche appears>The time is now. There is no
other time.</sogyal rinpoche> |
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That's actually a quote from the original Planet of the Apes
movie. Very much a document of its time. Which was back
then. |
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