Fit/Fat Finder-Outer

We welkome you as another proud owner of Fit/Fat Finder-Outer, one of our many trailing edge produkts at Kazakhstan Konsumerables, Ink. Please Sir/Madam, follow these instruktions to the letter for maximum sekurity and enjoyment:

1.(one) Press green button on side kausing platform to spring up and lock in position.

2.(two) Take one (1) of the one hundred (100) inkluded paper bags, affixing open end to blow tube under platform with natural latex band.

3.(three) Fill plastik kup with water to dotted line and place on head.

4.(four) Holding mouthpiece of blow tube, step onto platform.

5.(five) With deep breaths, blow energetikally to inflate paper bag.

6.(six) When bag reaches required size, it will automatikally release platform supports allowing you to freefall three (3) inches before bursting bag. Also water is kalkulated to leave head and rendezvous with platform.

7.(seven) By means of registering the dB from bag bang (from pop to BOOM), our digital chip will gauge your weight. Your height is found from time delay before cirkuit is klosed by wetness on platform.

A lightning-fast komputation will reveal your figure to you with diodes forming “I” or “A” between the “F” and “T”. If you have not mastered steps one to five (1-5), your nimbleness is lacking to the degree of prekluding FIT.

Don’t forget! Refer us to a friend and you kould win one (1) of our five(5)-foot long, one (1) horse power, gasoline-driven, pepper grinders with braided, horse hair, starter kord.