Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Fishsaber

Relatively harmless lightsaber made from a fish
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(+9, -8)
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We won't have Lightsabers until hundreds of years into the future, but we can have fishsabers TODAY!
A long, thin fish would be best (maybe an eel?). It could be dried for stability and fitted with a handle, or used floppy if kept moist.
Jim, Jul 31 2000

The prototype Cruise Eel http://www.washingt...4800-2001Apr16.html
[angel, Jul 31 2000]

[link]






       An electric eel, of course.
bookworm, Jul 31 2000
  

       Will we do the fish-slapping dance while we hit people with them?
davros42, Sep 15 2000
  

       Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hatred. Hatred leads to getting womped in the face with a mackerel.
Uncle Nutsy, Sep 15 2000
  

       That was 'Killer'...a lot of fun, especially the booby traps. The banana was labeled in the picture as 'Chiquita Arms .45'...had to get within 3 feet of someone and yell 'BANG!' and they were dead. And you could get rid of the evidence by eating it...
StarChaser, Sep 16 2000
  

       I like baked fish myself. Snow flake or tire track eels can be raised in home freshwater aquariums, they grow quite large and are not as dangerous to handle as a moray or electric [which tend to demagnetize the very things you don't want demagnetized] but nevertheless are slippery as, well, eels. How about an eelskin belt. That way you can have it as an inconspicuous sidearm and keep your trousers on. I find suspenders to be too unwieldy, though Jackie Chan [who by the way I suspect is Starchaser] may find a way to OWWWW! Gotta go-my girl-OWWW!-friend just hit me with a Walleyed Pike.
thumbwax, Sep 21 2000
  

       I favor the dead chicken wielded by Man in Armor, myself. I'm 4'27" and caucasian, unlikely to be mistaken for Jackie Chan...
StarChaser, Sep 21 2000
  

       The force is with you young anchovy....but you are not tuna yet!
dwp37, Jan 04 2001
  

       will u pleeeeeeeze stop beating me with that pike?   

         

       ---i feel violated
AHHHHHH, Aug 31 2001
  

       How about a Tail o' Nine Cats? Makes one hell of a scary sound when you swing it around, and once the nine cats make contact with their target, you can imagine how all hell breaks loose.
Mojo, Feb 24 2002
  

       In the realm of Reality: How about a fish shaped metal blade with scales, fins, gills, etc engraved in it. Something like this probably existed since the bronze age.
Knife Knut, Feb 15 2005
  
      
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