Faux Muscle Cars

Americans love their cars. In particular, Americans love those “muscle cars” from the 1960s and 1970s. They were loud, over powered and obnoxious---and lots of fun. They’re not very P.C., though: incredibly wasteful of fuel, pollution generators and very noisy.

Auto technology has advanced a long way since then. Modern cars are lighter, more fuel efficient and safer. They handle better due to anti-lock brakes and traction control. They have much nicer amenities in the interior, including air conditioning and better sound systems.

Why can’t I have both? Let's set up a company that builds incredibly authentic replicas of the favorite muscle cars of the past. Baked, you say? Yes, replica kits of antique cars exist, which build what appears to be an antique car on top of a modern vehicle drive train, so you get modern amenities but antique looks. But read on!

Faux Muscle Cars try to replicate not only the “look” of these vehicles, but also the “feel” when driving. Want to peel out in a cloud of smoke? The traction control on your BMW is designed to prevent that, but in a faux muscle car when you floor it:

* An incredible sound system including frame-mounted subwoofer kicks in to simulate the engine and tire sounds (for those in the car only!)
* The accelerator pedal pushes back like the engine is working hard (even though it is actually just pulling out at a reasonable power to conserve fuel).
* The articulated suspension “tilts” the car to simulate strong acceleration from the rear wheels.
* Rear mounted smoke generators simulate tires scraping the pavement.
* A paint gun behind the tire sprays a non-toxic water-soluble bio-degradable black paint on the pavement to simulate a tire mark!

Slam on the brakes! The sound system simulates screeching of tires, smoke appears, the car tilts forward, etc. But underneath a modern ABS braking system was making sure you didn’t destroy your tires, and you always had full control of the car.

Put the car into a sideways skid to simulate your favorite Dukes of Hazzard episode! The traction control kicks in to make sure you maintain control (whether it feels that way from inside or not), force feedback systems wobble the steering wheel when appropriate, the sound system simulates the skids and other noises you expect to hear, and so on. (Recommended only for closed course driving, of course)

It’s like your own little thrill ride on wheels. But it still gets 35 miles per gallon (three times what your old Pontiac got), it pollutes the atmosphere far less, is much more comfortable inside, and it doesn’t annoy the neighbors nearly as much.