h a l f b a k e r yAssume a hemispherical cow.
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Everyone calls them Fat Baffles but their correct name is actually: discrete personal containment auto seat barriers
Fat Baffles are an additional feature for all aircraft seats within
the
main cabin. They have only one function and that is to prevent the
extra bulk of obese passengers spilling
into their adjacent
seating spaces.
When the arm rests are lowered, the Fat Baffle can be raised from
between the seats and locked into place under the arm rest. The
action is similar to that of an electric window in a car. It's totally
safe, and has a default retraction system for emergencies, or
when the arm rest is raised.
When in place, no unwanted fatty flesh can cross the sturdy metal
walls of the Fat Baffle.
'"The captain has turned on the seat belt sign, and all Fat Baffles
are
being auto-raised."
[link]
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If the seat next to you is unoccupied (doubtful) you could entertain yourself during flight by dicing things. |
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Very true and vertical guillotine templates suitable for
dicing cucumbers
etc are available on request. |
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I need a picture. You say dicing, but dice is a multi-stage process which results in small square pieces, whereas slicing results in flat slices, as with a bagel guillotine. |
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I imagine the Fat Baffle as more of a guillotine, resulting in slices, so...in-flight potato crisps (chips)?! |
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Perhaps the Fat Baffle can also be used to prevent kicks from unruly children, and also act as a stabilizer for drunk passengers. |
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The use of Fat Baffle as a vertical slicer is entirely skinflap's idea, and not recommended. |
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//vertical guillotine templates suitable for dicing cucumbers etc are available on request. --xenzag, May 18 2013// |
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That wasn't you, [xenzag]? {cowboy sheriff voice} I coulda sworn I reddit roun' here somewheres |
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Read first annotation.//you could entertain yourself during flight by dicing things.
— skinflaps// I simply added to it with follow up suggestions. |
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