h a l f b a k e r yIf ever there was a time we needed a bowlologist, it's now.
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How many times in history did someone blame "it" on the dog and been caught? Now you can, without risk of detection. By combining a supersonic dog whistle with a buttplug, farts can be dispenced whenever necesary, without anyone knowing. If there are dogs around, they will be driven wild by (to them)
audible noise, and no one notices or cares about any flatulence as the chase the dog around. No dogs? Well, as people can't hear the sound, you can happily go about your "business"completely undetected.
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Sounds sensible to start with but dogs aren't stupid. No doubt the fart-whistle would strike quite a distinctive melody to the dog's ears. Once it had learnt that when it answers that tune it is greeted only with disdain (and no treats) it will soon decide that its not worthwhile bothering to respond. The short term gains would be far outweighed by the difficulty in explaining where that suspiciously discoloured dog whistle came from as it falls out the bottom of your trouser-leg when you accidentally follow-through. |
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Something quite like this was done as a fake advertisement on Saturday Night Live a couple years ago. That one wasn't funny either. |
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Took me until the end of the first anno to realize it goes in
your butt, not the dog's. |
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