h a l f b a k e r yThis product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random
news, help, about, links, report a problem
browse anonymously,
or get an account
and write.
register,
|
|
|
Please log in.
Before you can vote, you need to register.
Please log in or create an account.
|
It has been noted that those who use prosthetic lower limbs have a certain advantage when it comes to, for example, queueing. More often than not, a pained expression and constant shifting of weight onto a walking stick will be enough to make many gatekeepers - however seemingly fearsome - so uneasy
at the obvious presence of disability to allow a little delicate queue-jumping to occur; and even better, other able-bodied queuers raise no objection to such proceedings.
Thus BorgCo have designed and manufactured a superbly engineered fake artificial leg. This rigid casing clips neatly and comfortably over a real, normal functional leg, and is cunningly coloured and textured to look not quite lifelike, with a prominent metal "hinge" at the ankle.
Use of a small, soft plastic block inside the heel of the corresponding shoe produces a convincing slight limp and awkwardness when walking, adding to the authenticity of the appearance.
If the "leg" is tapped with the optional complementary walking stick (available for a modest extra charge) a distinctive hollow, knocking sound is emitted - by the stick. But it sounds like it comes from the leg, of course.
[link]
|
| |
For you, is there a head to go with it? One that
contains an actual brain instead a sponge that's
been dipped in a bowl of bat guano would be
useful. [+] For the idea that the bat we sent
probably wrote for you. |
|
| |
Cheaper option: just remove your leg. No on-going
maintenance, lighter and easier to transport (the non-
existent leg, that is; the rest of the person, not so much...). |
|
| |
// a special place in Hell reserved for people who fake a disability for pity’s sake. // |
|
| |
Quite right, that's contemptible, despicable and disgusting. |
|
| |
What about the ones who do it from simple selfishness, laziness and arrogance, though ? That's all right, shirley ? |
|
| |
Further modification I just thought of: once the artificial
artificial leg is clamped on tight, it doesn't come off. Ever. |
|
| |
We are familiar with "Jake the Peg", but our speciality is Barbershop ... as you would expect, we're superb at close-harmony singing ... |
|
| |
// they’re queued up for your tour of Gettysburg. // |
|
| |
They don't exactly have a choice; the shackles and chains keep them in line quite nicely. We won't make that mistake again, after the last lot ran away ... |
|
| |
<Massive Collective throat-clearing/> |
|
| |
"Earplugs ... earplugs ... only fifty dollars a pair ... earplugs ... cotton wool ... get your earplugs here ... last chance to buy ... earplugs ..." |
|
| |
Your insomnia is not our problem, [kdf] |
|
| |