Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'

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Fake Solar Panel Company

For people who just want to look "green".

(+17, -1)

[vote for,
against]

Ok, Im being a little cynical, but i think there is a real product here. I worked for a solar company for a couple years and you would be amazed at the number of people that want the panels to be put on the north side of their business/ house so people can see them.

They do make fake triangle shaped ones for making arrays look pretty, but why not take it a step further and build them a full fake array. That way the installers can actually point the real ones south. Everybody wins :-)

—	EricNutsch, Jul 19 2011

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There are one or two people in the southern hemisphere too, you know.

Out of interest, did you ever actually install panels on the north, or were you able to talk them out of it? I guess that they would be worse than useless - the net energy harvested over the panels' lifetime could easily be less than the energy invested in manufacture and installation.

—	spidermother, Jul 19 2011

You will be a rich man, indeed. [+]

—	Grogster, Jul 19 2011

Good point spidermother, I have only installed panels in the US.

Fortunately the company I worked for was ethical enough to refuse putting them on the north side. We lost a couple customers over it. Our competitors gladly installed them though. I did install a lot of panels under eaves and in places that are shaded year round though; per customer request.

@ 21Quest- in the northern hemisphere* the most efficient configuration for a grid tied solar system is due south at about 10degrees less than your latitude(seasonal compensation). Panels in Idaho work best well at 30 degrees. Mechanical tracker units never pay for themselves, and who needs the maintenance.

—	EricNutsch, Jul 19 2011

I used to have a chinese calculator with fake solar cells.

—	VJW, Jul 19 2011

Me too, [VJW]. I'm personally wondering if photovoltaics are as fake green as these would be in some circumstances. Also, you could use fake electricity inside the house.

—	nineteenthly, Jul 19 2011

This is nothing more than a venal and disgusting scheme to exploit those who for their own sordid reasons place appearance and image above functionality.

[+]

—	8th of 7, Jul 19 2011

Taking the concept a step further:

The company need not install any panels at all. Simply erect a temporary notice on the building (such as those erected by builders etc.) advertising the fact that NutschCo. are proud to install a revolutionary invisible solar roof on this building.

The cost savings will easily buy some new clothes for the emperor.

—	Twizz, Jul 19 2011

Taking the concept a step further:

The cost savings will easily buy some new clothes for the emperor.

—	Twizz, Jul 19 2011

Why not take that a step further and do what businesses are doing all over America? Just pay the politicians for a "Certified Green" sticker?

No need to put up signs or do anything green (except sending green cash to the politicians). Hey, everybody wins! Except the environment and anybody who's not a politician, but who cares about those anyway?

—	doctorremulac3, Jul 19 2011

Why bother paying the politicians? Just run off a few hundred “Certified Green” labels on your desktop printer, and distribute them to your friends and relatives.

—	pocmloc, Jul 19 2011

...because then the politicians wouldn't make any money and that would be wrong. So very wrong.

Could you imagine these poor souls having to turn in their Gulfstream 650s and being forced to slum it by flying around in Gulfstream 150s like common prols? (shudder)

—	doctorremulac3, Jul 19 2011

Stop saying things like that, you're worrying us.

—	8th of 7, Jul 19 2011

How about installling fake panels that actually have a real solar panel in them?

Then you could just enjoy the irony of it all or you could connect it up to the mains via a meter and sell the power to the power company...and bring in a little cash on the side.

I foresee the court case... "m^lord, it is alleged that the defendant misled the client by installing a real solar panel, instead of the fake one ordered.."

—	not_morrison_rm, Jul 19 2011

Fake fake solar panels -- and the contractor sells kilowatts into the grid, unbeknownst to the client.

("Those cables are for the defroster, sir, to prevent ice buildup in winter. No extra charge; here's the OFF switch if you don't want that feature.")

—	mouseposture, Jul 19 2011

They should require power to operate in some fashion, like an LED status blinking light.

—	RayfordSteele, Jul 20 2011

Fake windmills would be prettier!

—	bob, Jul 20 2011

Spun by a motor?

—	RayfordSteele, Jul 20 2011

//They do make fake triangle shaped ones for making arrays look pretty...//

Out of interest, why can't they make real triangle-shaped ones?

—	Loris, Jul 20 2011

Some early windmills *were* spun by motors. Admittedly, this was only done when the windmill blade tip speed was below optimum for the windspeed (i.e., the wind speed had just increased). Nowadays, the blades are allowed to freewheel up to their optimal speed.

—	goldbb, Jul 20 2011

// why can't they make real triangle-shaped ones? //

Because Toblerone owns the patent.

—	8th of 7, Jul 20 2011

You could pattern the cells in an array any way you wish, but silicon, being fragile, doesn't lend itself well to corners beyond 90 degrees in an individual cell. Doing so would be inefficient anyways, as the shape should be optimized for easy, balanced access for the electrons to reach the bus bands. The corners would be inefficient zones on each cell in a sharp triangle.

—	RayfordSteele, Jul 21 2011

[goldbb] //Some early windmills *were* spun by motors.// Why was that later abandoned?

—	mouseposture, Jul 21 2011

Just paint some of the clay tiles with shiny black rectangles. And run a few pointless wires. No need to actually install anything. No one will really look at it.

—	popbottle, Jan 16 2014

When governments were paying home owners higher rates for solar generated electricity than it cost to buy it from the general grid, I immediately pictured fat extension cords running from the neighbour's place into my solar panels. Glowing cherry red with the profits split between myself and the neighbour.

—	AusCan531, Jan 16 2014

//Because Toblerone owns the patent//

Q: Why are Toblerone bars triangular shaped?

A: So they fit into the boxes.

—	AusCan531, Jan 16 2014

Having worked in the solar business I came across the same "green vanity" people. They would want to stuff their roofs with panels no matter what the production. On the other hand, Republicans wouldn't want them just because they didn't burn gas.

Also, there was a company, Dyocore, that made "fake" 1kW wind-turbines, because the government was giving $5k for each. They sold them for $4k each, until someone blew the whistle. Let's all work in fake companies that make fake products which consumers can fake to use, and earn fake dollars printed by a fake government, only to pay fake tax dollars and vote in a fake election. Hmm someone is getting gauged but who..?

—	xkuntay, Jan 17 2014

When is production due?

—	pashute, Jan 18 2014

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