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Face Transplantee Programmable Iron Filing Beard Plate
  (+5)
(+5) 		  [vote for,
against]

*dial turns on radio* *static* *hiss* ... why not make the lives of face transplant recipients more tremendous by fitting between head and new face a metal plate which has set within it a programmable array of mild electromagnets, which will allow the wearer to dip his or her face into an oil drum of iron filings and come up sporting a reasonably convincing beard ... *faint strains of clarinet* *static*
—calum, Oct 07 2013

Face_20Transplantee..._20Extruder_20Plate [calum, Oct 07 2013]

Scab_20Beard [calum, Oct 07 2013]

We had these when we were kids. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wooly_Willy
[xandram, Oct 07 2013]

could it work like this? with a magnet? http://i00.i.aliimg...baba-web2_14597.JPG
[xandram, Oct 07 2013]

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       This is a much better idea. Than what, I am unsure of.
—MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 07 2013
   

       I would definitely want this for my face transplant. A natural croissant winner.
—xenzag, Oct 07 2013
   

       After these get tested on the transplantees, can they be moved to the general public? I'm thinking custom shapes to help reflect who you are, quite literally, on the inside.
—shapu, Oct 07 2013
   

       Will there be a pubic version? Electromagnetic vajazzle?   

       Also, what happens if two heterosexual male face transplantees meet, only to discover that they are of opposite polarities?
—MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 07 2013
   

       I had Wooly Willy in mind, yes. Mr Willy has a significant drawback *pause* in that the integrity of his beard was dependent on the horizontality of his face. Now I don't know about you, but I don't think I can make much of my life if my beard requires me to keep the underlying my face parallel to the direction of gravity. Having the magnet inside the face means that the face can be orient(at)ed howsoever the would-be beardie desired.   

       I hadn't considered the pubic possibilities for this project, though they are interesting. Not just vajazzling, I am sure that it would not be beyond the wit of the medical profession to install in a boab (for example) a segmented metal plate which would allow the early adopted to stick his (or indeed her) dick in the drum, and googly eyes on the dick, permitting a swift, and by a flick of the electromagnet switch, swiftly shed, cock muppet puppet show.
—calum, Oct 08 2013
   

       [+] If anyone needed yet another excellent reason to desire a face transplant, this is it.
—awesomest, Oct 11 2013
   


 

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