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Millions of pounds are spent each year in formula one trying to find lightweight additions to cars which will bring a competitive advantage to the team.
I am amazed that none of the myriad genius brains in F1 have ever stumbled upon this idea; but in my half baked experience when a 'baker develops
a brilliant idea which smart people have failed to recognise as brilliant, it is almost always accepted with universal praise and admiration in the 'bakery.
So here's the idea: add a lightweight bumper sticker to the back of the car. Slogans could include witticisms such as "honk if you want to go faster" "I heart Bahrain" and "my other car is pretty much identical to this one."
These adornments would surely cause other drivers to stop and think, in an arena where both stopping and thinking are almost always bad ideas.
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I prefer the more direct approach to putting off other drivers. Namely the Schumacher approach, simply rear end them at 175mph and then blame the other driver for failing to anticipate the collison. |
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A beautiful, naked, girl on the back might be distracting? |
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"My other ride is your Mom" may be distracting. |
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Mine would have to read *I don't have another car*. [+] |
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"My other car is full of eels" |
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//"My other ride is your Mom"// |
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[+] For the idea as well. There's no bumper sticker that couldn't hurt the guy driving behind you. You could have it say "Good luck fellow racer!" and it would a) take time to read b) be distracting and, possibly c) get up in the guy's head as in "Hey, is this guy being a smartass? Or maybe he's being nice." |
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There's someone who markets red bumper stickers with the text "If this bumper sticker is blue, you're driving too fast" - brilliant. |
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Glad to see somebody finally tapped the comedy
potential of blue shift jokes. |
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pics of explicit gay porn might also be distracting |
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... or scat porn, two girls one cup kinda stuff |
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or pics of people who died in race car crashes |
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/A beautiful, naked, girl on the back might be distracting?/ |
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She would also produce a lot of air resistance, and might get cold. |
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The bumper sticker could slowly change to different messages, causing the driver behind you to want to "read the whole thing" instead of passing you. E.g. "Your . . . Momma . . . Is . . . A . . . " |
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My sticker would have an image of Gandalf glowering and saying "You shall not pass!" |
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[If you can raed tihs yuo suhold plul oevr!] |
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"I hope you do not find this distracting" |
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"F1 drivers do it in the pit lane..." |
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Caution:List alert pit stop. |
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what about molding an inverted face into the back of the car, which tracks you as you move to the side and try to overtake? It would freak me out. |
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I'm thinking rather a disorienting paint job reminiscent of auto camouflage would be better.
Although it might be hard for the viewers to look at. |
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A paint job that looks like the front of the car--coming
right at you. |
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1) Combined bumper sticker with anti-velcro patch. |
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2)Ahem. //Glad to see somebody finally tapped the comedy potential of blue shift jokes. |
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Q. "Is that red-eye in that shot?" A. "Oh no, that's just the doppler shift" |
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as seen in Neutrino Detector Birthday Party... |
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There's a removal company in this city who have a
life-sized, printed poster of two gurning idiots in the
cab of one of their trucks pasted to the back of all of
their trucks. |
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It scares the crap out of you every time you look up
and see one of them "bearing down on you". |
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You see, that's one of the things I can't stand about my
country: in the US, somebody would have filed a lawsuit
against that company the first time one of those trucks was
involved in an accident, even if it wasn't a rear-ender, and
after that there would be nationwide calls for state &
municipal
ordinances banning graphics that cause confusion over the
vehicle's orientation. |
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In the 1980's there was a vogue for drivers of
small cars, particularly Minis, to have cards
or bumper stickers that read, "My Other Car
Is A Porsche" |
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This was spectacularly outdone by a motorist
in the Manchester area who placed a neat
hand-
written sign in the rear window of his Rolls-
Royce that read, "Some Of My Other Cars Are
Porsche" |
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//first time one of those trucks was involved in an
accident, even if it wasn't a rear-ender// |
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I suspect their trucks have fewer accidents as a
result of bearing the graphics, rather than more.
Seeing one of them in front of you immediately
sharpens your mind. |
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[8th], that is priceless. |
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//first time one of those trucks was involved in an accident, even if it wasn't a rear-ender// |
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Erm, how would you know it was a rear-ender? Given that both ends look the same... |
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Remember those clever pictures which look different depending on which side you look at them from? Maybe you could have a bumper sticker picture of Bernie looking smug, which from another angle was Bernie looking petrified. It would seem like he was inside the car, reacting each time the car pulled through a chicane. I imagine watching it would be addictive and distracting. |
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S-note, very funny indeed. + for the anno. |
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