h a l f b a k e r yThe phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.
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Studies have shown that many -- if not most -- people unconsciously associate large eyes with attractiveness, or, more specifically, cuteness. Although there are some surgeries that could be performed to increase the opening of the eyelid to create the illusion of larger eyes, this procedure is invasive
and does not actually increase the amount of eye you have.
Since the vitreous humor of the eyeball is 99% water, a small injection of water via syringe could be periodically administered with a local anaesthetic as an outpatient procedure (like Botox is, today)-- to gradually increase the volume of the eyeballs. Your vision might be *slightly* distorted by the increased dimensions of your optic organs, but if you want a bigger omelette, you've got to augment some eggs.
Pretty soon, you'll be cuter than you ever imagined humanly possible.
Cuteness & eyebigness
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuteness
[nihilo, May 26 2006, last modified May 27 2006]
Vitreous humor ingredients
http://www.tedmontg...e_eye/vitreous.html
[nihilo, May 26 2006]
Beauty & facial proportions
http://members.aol....verbal3/beauty1.htm
'In the 1930s, researchers isolated specific "cute" features in the resting face, seemingly favored by human beings in every society. A set of youthful features and proportions (e.g., wide-set eyes and full lips set upon soft, smooth, unblemished skin) appears to be attractive both in male and female faces.' [nihilo, May 26 2006]
Couldn't resist...
http://charlieonthe...pics/thebugeyes.jpg
[Shz, May 26 2006]
She's cute, but how 'bout this?
http://growabrain.t...ages/big_eyes_1.jpg
[nihilo, May 26 2006]
Big-eyedness: today.
http://besmirched.tripod.com/today.html
Don't fight the cuteness. Resistance is futile. [nihilo, May 26 2006]
Graves' Disease
http://hubnet.buffa...Graves_disease_.jpg
[ldischler, May 27 2006]
Metaluna Mutant
http://www.scifi.co.../cool/sfw12478.html
.. "Wendy! - I'm Home - from the opticians" [xenzag, May 27 2006]
Dig these glasses for your oversized eyes
http://www.thebagla...nglasses/index.html
[NotTheSharpestSpoon, May 27 2006]
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If you're cute, then you're cute whether your eyes are cute or not. |
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And if you're not cute, then doing this will make your eyes cute but you still will not be. |
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What about your skull? That won't change shape in response to your growing eyes, and I don't want to think about the consequences. |
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nihilo, would you mind replacing your first link with one to wikipedia's entry on the subject? The site looks like a spam farm that mixes unattributed wikipedia articles with links to their advertisers in order to boost page rank. Thanks! |
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On the contrary, the study of beauty can be empirically demonstrated to be a (very) hard science. |
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I think you'd end up bug-eyed, not big-eyed. |
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as long as we avoid milihelens. |
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you do realize that our eyes pop right?
also, this kinda negates their original,
perfectly legitimate function. |
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Hey, who cares about glaucoma? Blindness is a small price for beautiful, bulging eyes. |
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I'm giving this a bun - because it's capable
of producing a real life version of the
Metaluna Mutant , especially if it went
wrong- see link. + |
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I'm giving this a bun because I will finally be able to wear those big '70s style sunglasses for a legitimate reason. |
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WHOA: Graves' disease-- so hot! |
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Breasts once had a "perfectly legitimate function", but I don't hear anyone whining about that. |
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Am I the only one here who remembers David Cronenberg's Scanners? I used to have the eyeball popping scene clip on my old Amiga, in HAM mode. Nice and gruesome it was too. |
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you are not the only one... I took a series
of stlls from the exploding head sequence
from a TV screen that looked like a
goldfish bowl in San Fransicso - used to
send them as postcards. No one could
figure out what was going on in them -
they just looked bizarre |
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My God! This is awful! Bun for having the guts to post it. |
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/I don't unconsciously associate big eyes with attractiveness,/ Yes you do. You are just not conscious of it. |
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The fluid injection thing is an unsatisfactory and temporary solution, so to speak. Really what is needed is ocular implants: optically clear jelly wads to permanently increase eye size and consequent attractiveness. |
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psst... Wanna buy some giant Amoebas? Shove 'em your eyes - make 'em look real big... |
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