Extreme Clay Pigeon Shooting

The National Association of Extreme Clay Pigeon Shooters would like to welcome you to our open day. First of all, you'll notice that our clay pigeons are shaped like REAL PIGEONS. Sure, they don't fly like 'em, but who cares? Our members get a deep feeling of satisfaction from seeing something that looks like a real bird cartwheel madly across the sky. We say, if you're gonna flout the laws of physics, might as well do it with style!
Here's a quick introduction to each of the four classes of event you'll see today:

1. Traditional: A team event. Each three-man team is given a World War II vintage anti-aircraft gun. As part of our contribution to world peace, we use land mines for clay pigeons - you get a much better bang, and you help support the arms industry while it tries to find soemthing worthwhile to do.

2. Modern: A solo event. Using a Goalkeeper anti-missile gun with all automatic targetting removed, the contestant tries to shoot down land mines by basically replacing the sky around it with depleted uranium. Not as much fun as it sounds, more a specialist event.

3. Freestyle. BYOB, basically. Rather than clay pigeons (which are small and difficult to hit) we tend to use a steam catapult and launch cars into the air for this one. Okay, your window of opportunity is smaller, but the target is much more satisfying. People generally find this is a good way of finding out who in the neighbourhood owns an Uzi, and is a bit scary.

4. Inverted. Guns are catapulted across the sky, and contestants fire clay frisbees at it. My personal favourite.

Find us in the beer tent afterwards, and once you've got your hearing back I'm sure you'll agree it's a mighty fine sport!