Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Extendable Bumpers

Give your car more elbow room
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Alright, so my car doesn't have elbows (note to self, new HB entry, "Car Elbows") but there are several places around my city where I could use more room. While most of the inner city has marked parking spots on the curb, the rest of the city has no curb marks. Most drivers like to play games with this concept. One of these games is to see how many cars you can prevent from parking at the curb by leaving about 4m space between yourself and the car in front. No car (save maybe a Mini Cooper or Smarty) will be able to effectively park there.

The other game is exactly the opposite. This one involves parking as close to the car in front of you as possible, thereby socking them in. Then when the driver (myself) gets back to their car at 4:30p, I find it near impossible to pry myself out from between cars whose drivers won't return until 5:30p. I am usually reduced to bumper tag with about a 7 point turn before I can eke through.

I would like to see extendable bumpers, both front and back. This need not be a safety feature. I picture something akin to the aesthetic bumper shell. After you've parallel parked, you merely activate the bumpers and they *sproing* out from the car about a half meter. Even if the person behind you leaves a mere 20cm to back up, this is now a cool 70cm of space to use whilst shoehorning out of the space. Extract yourself, retract the bumpers, and drive your merry way.

Would also be a handy spacer for tailgaters. Or activate the front bumper when the clod in front of you has stopped at a green light. Extra possibilities (and fun) are endless.

bdag, Oct 02 2009

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       [21Q], my device is much more versatile. Did you bone my idea because you got boned?
bdag, Oct 02 2009
  

       Who said motor? Mechanical levers, latches, catches, etc. Less parts to fail. Still works when the battery's dead. Uses: parallel parking, tailgaters, 'reminders', moving lightweight objects, knocking on garage doors, taunting urban livestock, etc...   

       As I said, this would be something akin to the aesthetic bumper shell. As these are generally plastic floppy affairs (unless you're driving a 60's American muscle car) very little damage would result to your car or another's. It would be like slapping you with a piece of paper. The idea (for parking) is to give a visual reminder of space, not to hog more curb frontage.   

       Look, I don't have anything against you [21Q] but you have routinely been the first person to comment on my ideas and you've boned them. You make assumptions based on thin air without looking for clarification. Tends to set one's lighthearted creativity on edge. Give a bloke a break.
bdag, Oct 03 2009
  
      
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