h a l f b a k e r yThe embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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Before I start, let me say I don't care at all if people smoke. I live in California where you pretty much can't smoke except maybe in your own back yard with a razorwire fence around you and a warning sign posted with a skull and crossbones. Smokers don't affect me at all. That being said, there
are reasons why our society might want to help people quit smoking, and here's an idea that might help.
If we really want to get smokers to quit, I say the government mandates that one out of every thousand or so cigarettes contain black ink and be explosive. These cigarettes will have to look, weigh, and smell exactly like all of the other cigarettes in the pack. Imagine the annoyance as the smoker lights the much wanted smoke when !!bang!! "God %*^!@*^ *@%^*@^ you piece of @!*^ @!*@!*% *%^*@^" After a few times with that happening, only the most addicted smoker would continue. As an added bonus, imagine the joy and satisfaction of the person at the next table at a restaurant (obviously not in California) being bombarded by second hand smoke when suddenly they hear a !!bang!! and the smoker's face is black.
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But wait, the exploding cigar is a *really* old prank. |
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I don’t think Philip Morris is going to be too keen on manufacturing those. |
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Could have sworn this was already here. Can't find it though. |
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Surgeon General’s Warning: |
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Smoking causes lung cancer, heart disease, emphysema, and blindness due to them exploding in your face. |
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[bee] nah, they'd just go to the black market. But if every now and then one just explodes, you wouldn't be able to tell if the ones on the black market were any different. |
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Nice knowing you. I hope they let you visit the Halfbakery from prison. |
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Silly people, not punish X - annoy X. And not to a means only to itself, but to help society. This idea uses the psychological principle of negative reinforcement to help end smoking. It's a real idea, though admittedly and intentionally goofy. |
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Although I'm sure it's only a coincidence that the [m-f-d] came from a frustrated smoker (like there's any other type in CA), I think if you look in the other anti-smoking ideas you will see most/all of the negative commenters here commenting negatively there. Therefore, I proclaim all anti-anti-smoking comments advocacy, and just might delete them. |
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Why not make them REALLY explosive 19 outa 20 have TNT in them that relieve your head from your shoulders. |
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Aren't we kind looking at a symptom here, and ignoring the disease? Why do smokers become smokers? Does someone walk up to them, stick a cigarette in their mouth and force them to smoke? Of course not. Smokers are victims, albeit willing, weak-minded, gullible, addicted victims. They made the choice to become smokers and I say they deserve our pity. They were duped by the tobacco companies and their brightly coloured advertising with promises of looking sexy and having more fun when you're a smoker. They ignored their bodies' initial rejection of nicotine through the hacking and retching, the dizzy spells, the headaches because they bought the dream, the reward that was promised to them. Instead of being respected and admired by their peers, they are outcasts. They huddle in doorways and cold alleys, sharing their habit as all addicts do, a brother/sisterhood too proud to ask for help, too stupid to quit on their own. <End of rant.> |
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How do you stop smokers? You don't. We should just let them die off, prematurely. Then how do you prevent more people from starting to smoke? Ban cigarettes? No, as pointed out earlier, that would just drive it underground. If you limit supply of a product that is in demand there will always be people who will find a way to obtain the product. We must stop (or at least lower ) the demand. I believe the best first step is to simply stop all tobacco advertising. No TV ads, no radio ads, no newspaper or magazine ads, no door-to-door flyers, nothing. Without glossy ads featuring nubile and/or handsome partners who adore smokers, fewer people will have a desire to try cigarettes. As time goes by the demand will dwindle then disappear, maybe not completely, but to the point where the only smokers will be those who smoke occasionally and in the privacy of their own homes, wearing one of those stylish old smoking jackets, sipping some 80-year old brandy, and discussing the latest returns from the Dow and how they are glad they diversified their portfolio. |
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Cigs apparently make me look younger, as those who've said
"Well, them there cancer-sticks're already aging yer skin and making ya look older than ya is, ya see."
'How old do you think eye yam?'
"Why, I reckon yer 32 mebbe, tops - but them ciggies is makin' ya look to be oooooh, 35"
'I'm 42'
"Oh" |
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I had a similar sort of conversation not long ago that went something along the lines of...
[Friend1's Wife to Friend2] "I'm surprised that you and DrBob are the same age. He looks older than you."
[Friend 2] "That's because he smokes and it ages his skin."
[DrBob to Friend2] "...and also because I don't dye my hair black, like you, in order to disguise my grey hairs." |
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Soaking a cigarette in a saturated solution of Potassium Nitrate, then carefully drying it and then surreptitiously re-inserting it into someone's packet is extremely amusing to the onlookers. |
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I'm so glad I got all of this out of my system ages ago. |
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The way the government here in NJ,USA is dealing with getting smokers to quite is raising the price of a pack to $6.85. Soon only the people that can afford the life support equipment will be able to smoke. |
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well i have always liked the idea, it just... exists. sans ink of course, probably susceptible to blindness lawsuits and the like, cigarette loads are sold in fireworks shops all over the country, its just a tiny charge you poke into a cigarette and when its lit... |
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