h a l f b a k e r yA hive of inactivity
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At first glance, it was a seemingly innocuous flock of
seagulls, if seagulls are ever actually innocuous.
However, as they got closer I realised these were no
ordinary seagulls. They were enormous... the sort of
seagulls you might see if you licked one too many stamps
in the late 1970s.
As
I watched in horror, one of them scooted along the
beach, vacuuming up towels, car keys, drink bottles,
pigeons, sunglasses, a small, yappy dog and several
bikini
components that were improperly fastened to their
owners. People were screaming they had lost cash,
jewelry
and passports in the haul.
They left as quickly as they arrived.
Rumour has it they are controlled by an former UK
Defence
Ministry consultant; a monocled evil overlord with a
penchant for fiendish devices, including a large,
submersible watercraft that cruises around, just outside
the territorial limit, launching a flock of seagull-shaped
hovercraft at resort beaches around the world.
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//vacuuming up towels, car keys, drink bottles, pigeons, sunglasses, a small, yappy dog and several bikini components// |
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Also, 1/2 a tonne of sand, seaweed, assorted crustaceans, a dead jellyfish, a broken pair of thongs (in the Australian sense), 3 half full cans of beer, a cricket ball that has been chewed beyond recognition, a soggy hot dog, half a wicket and a Kensington Cheese Wire Thong Deckchair Lock. |
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[+] for cleaning up the beaches, [-] for accelerating erosion, and [+] for a monocle. |
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sp. hovercraft -> hoovercraft |
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I thought it was South Park, and then you have to say everything in Mr Garrison's voice? |
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//And the invention is...// |
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Giant seagulls designed to remove annoying yappy dogs from beaches |
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Sorry, missed the other posting thread as to origins. |
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// vacuuming up ... several bikini components that were
improperly fastened to their owners // |
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I see absolutely nothing wrong with that. |
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Oh, you would if Roland had been wearing them,
[Alter]. |
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He's getting too close. We're going to have to do something about him. |
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Maybe we could arrange to let Australia win the Ashes back ... |
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Shit... I spent so long arranging for your lot to win
them, so you wouldn't all commit national hara-kiri. |
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