h a l f b a k e r yThe phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.
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// no longer allowed to zap the inhabitants // |
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All the old skills are dying out… |
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How much energy do the Daleks consume searching for
poorly insulated houses? Also, how do they stand up
against 6.8mm spc? My house is actually quite well-
insulated, but if there are going to be Daleks on the loose,
I'd still like to know. |
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Daleks are quite "green" and energy-efficient, as they are based on the same battery-electric technology as golf carts, mobility scooters, and electric wheelchairs. |
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Their armour is pretty effective, being a mixture of physical protection and an electromagnetic deflector shield. However, the eye stalk is more vulnerable. We advise the employment of directed-energy rather than projectile weapons, although digging a shallow hole and then covering it over with a sheet of cardboard will cause them a few problems to say the least. |
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Once the Dalek is disabled and the batteries are run down, they can be safely dismantled using an ordinary Sonic Screwdriver. The rubber suckers have a surprisingly high resale value to collectors, and are also very useful for clearing blocked sinks. |
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There are a number of charitable organisations who will be glad to remove the empty shell, which will then be refurbished and exported to third-world nations as temporary pillar boxes. |
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Hmm, I'm a little short on directed-energy weapons... |
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Maybe now's the time to splurge on that Barrett I've been
lusting after. |
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// I'm a little short on directed-energy weapons... // |
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Step into our office for a moment. We'll make you an offer you won't want to refuse. |
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Your residence does have a 3-phase, 660Volt, 300Amp supply, right ? Just asking. |
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A directed energy weapon that needs to be plugged
into a wall outlet? Don't wast your money,
[Alterother], they're obviously trying to foist the
export model on you. |
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// Your residence does have a 3-phase, 660Volt, 300Amp supply, right? // |
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Actually, it does, but I'm still not buying your lousy Borgco death ray. |
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C'mon, they're waaay better than those Acme ones .... and we offer easy payment terms, 0% financing, and one year's free subscription to "What's New In Spaceborne Combat Systems". |
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We can even get you Tribbles, if you're interested. Grill, stew, or stir-fry, but for best results barbeque. All that fluff just burns right off, no need to peel. |
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<[nrm] gets' that Oppenheimer "what have I done.." feeling> But still better than the HB kiss of death, which is currently running on a server somewhere in Area 57... |
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// no longer allowed to zap the inhabitants // |
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This is a mistake. If they zapped the inhabitants, the
temperature of the inhabitants would increase and there
would be no need to heat their surroundings, which would
be very efficient. |
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Ah, the voice of sanity speaks at last. |
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it would require two daleks to give a chinese burn (energy saving?) as they only have one "sink plungerer things" each and that would also rely on those "sink plungerer things" having the ability to make a circular motion in both directions (clockwise for one and counter-clock for the other) in fact this is highly unlikely as those "sink plungerer things" do not possess a grip-like action... |
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Yeah, BorgCo do those kits too ... funny, we get a lot of business from people for whom the cardboard-over-hole trick didn't work, and are fed up of running away from daleks ... |
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I saw a Dalek at the Fleet Air Arm Museum once; Ima write
to them and ask how they caught it. |
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Easy. Dalek paper. Comes on a big roll, very sticky. |
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//It would require two daleks to give a chinese
burn// But a single Dalek could give you one hell of
a hickey. |
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"What are you gonna do? Sucker me to death?" |
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