h a l f b a k e r yExperiencing technical difficulties since 1999
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First thing I did was arrange the letters on our sign to say; [PRIVATE SIGN] [DO NOT READ]
Then I hung a sign on our bulletin board;
[TEARABLE PUNS] with little perforated slips at the bottom reading [pun].
I've had to replace it twice now because people want them for some reason.
The
latest one I want to do is a clear plastic jar full of different batteries next to the merchandise in the office that reads;
[BATTERIES!]
[FREE OF CHARGE!]
It makes me schnarfle.
...but then I was joking with my wife about how our batteries seem to keep finding themselves new homes every time we make another city run so we could just open all the packages and dump them all into the battery pun-jar which nobody is ever going to take a battery from, and we will always know where they are and never lose any of them again... ever!... and I actually considered it for a second there.
...and then I wondered, what are the odds of those live ends of those fully charged batteries making random connections, depending on how they're shaken, overheating and then spontaneously combusting, just because it would be a monumentally stupid thing to do?
...
Do we need new warning labels on batteries for pun addicts?
Tell me I'm not the bucket-of-fresh-batteries burning your house down poster child.
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Annotation:
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2. People like me will throw more dead batteries into your pot, or will take the lot away and dump them in the recycling, just to be helpful. |
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I often (and randomly) add "Please be sure to let me know if you do not receive this" to my email replies. |
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And please let me know if this idea doesn't reach you. |
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[+], I love the idea of joke signs. "What are you lookin' at?",
"Important message", "Think for yourself, don't do what this sign tells you to do." |
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Do not read this annotation |
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As soon as new lettering arrives I plan to change our main sign to read: |
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[STAY 1 NIGHT 4 THE PRICE OF 3 AND GET YOUR 2'nd NIGHT ABSOLUTELY FREE!] |
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I will happily pay you on Tuesday for a room today. |
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[2 fries shy of a happy meal]; your "price list" could be chaotic; 2 nights cheaper than 2 x 1 night, but 3 nights more expensive than 3 x 1 night, then 4 nights cheaper than 4 x 1 night but more expensive than 2 x 2 nights (or something along those lines). People smart enough to work it out can get things cheaper than people who just "follow the list". |
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No no. Stay for one night but pay for three nights. Second night is free. |
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No way to misread that and I wouldn't let anybody take me up on it anyway.
I am however interested in how many people try to. |
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+ This is good. Folks should add more croissants here and be bun addicts. |
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Bernie Sanders approves of this message. |
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Shouldn't that be BURNY Sanders? |
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