h a l f b a k e r yIs it soup yet?
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I've heard that if you swallow a battery, the issue is not the
poisonous nature of the materials inside, but rather the
chemical products of the batteries' discharge in your
stomach
acid. |
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So it might not be great if you swallowed one, non-toxic or
no. |
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Let me check up on that, though....
Yes - continued discharge creates caustic soda, which has
untoward effects. |
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I think if the electrical charge held was low and quickly
discharged (as I assume you're imagining) then it /probably/
wouldn't be an issue most of the time.
But there might still be a risk if someone ate many at once
and they weren't spent before reaching the stomach, so it's
probably not a safe bet. |
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//I think if the electrical charge held was low and
quickly discharged (as I assume you're imagining)
then it /probably/ wouldn't be an issue most of the
time.,// |
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Correct Loris, this would be imminently
controllable,
the current I'm talking about this creating would
be barely perceptible. |
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A good comparison would be carbonation or mint
flavors. These give very slight stimulation to the
sensory facilities of the mouth that generate very
very small pain responses. These don't rise to the
level of pain, rather just stimulation. |
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And you're correct, although this would be nothing
like
licking the terminal of a battery, sticking your
finger
in a light socket or putting your tongue on the
third rail like a1 is ranting about, the
effect
would be enhanced by taking too many of these, so
the warning would be put in place and made
known similar to a bottle of very hot sauce which
you would never take a big swig of. |
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I'm thinking this would be adjusted to create a low
enough current to stimulate the senses about as
much as a wintergreen lifesaver. |
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//putting your tongue on the third rail// could become the next must-do meme. Enterprising companies would sell special clamp devices with long rubber handles which provide a platform to support the tongue-putter above the rail totally insulated from the ground and other objects. Then they can touch the third rail with their tongue in complete* safety. Meanwhile frame-mounted selfie cameras film the tongue touching and post it to Binky or whatever social media platform the user is addicted to. |
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I'm hearing of some pretty scary Tick Tock
challenges, that would probably fit right in. |
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Speaking of addiction, I'm thinking people could
get
addicted to these. What is it, dopamine that gets
triggered by pain responses? I always get
serotonin,
dopamine and oxytocin confused. Could look it up I
guess. |
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You could always try the real candy * pop rocks *
that would produce a similar effect, but I guess
that wouldn’t be as much fun. |
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Ooh...
Piezoelectric crystals in bubble gum. Diabolical. |
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//You could always try the real candy * pop
rocks * that would produce a similar effect// |
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Oh yea, I remember those. That was the idea, they
were these little explosions. Wonder if those are still
legal. |
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Why yes. Simple CO2 reaction. We gave a few to the toddler
half a dozen years ago. He was quite quizzical about the
experience. |
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How many wintergreen lifesaver sparks required to lift the
weight of one wintergreen lifesaver? |
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You know pointing these out is really making me
think there's a market for these.
Sparks,
explosions,
this would fit right into an already proven market. |
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"Here, try one of these. They electrocute your
mouth."
I might say "You first." but after the
person
offering it showed no ill effects I'd try one. |
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Like telling somebody "Wow, this really stinks."
there's not a person in the world who would just
take
your word for it.
All humans say "Let me
smell...
WHOA! THAT'S NASTY!!". |
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I wonder what electricity does to the bacteria and germs in your mouth. |
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Hmmm, so you call it the breath mint that shocks
bad breath?
Doesn't matter if it does, get a guy in
a
lab coat with a stethoscope around his neck and
you're good to go. |
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But I assume if the voltage is high enough it'll wipe
out 100% of the germs or bacteria in your mouth.
Crank it up to 14KV or so there's a smoking stump
where your face used to be. |
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There's your commercial. "Afraid your face will be
a smoking stump if you try delicious Zappers
candy?
Well, not to worry. 9 out of 10 people
who
survived Zappers candy found them delicious." |
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- Ohm My Gush!
- Salivolting.
- Amperically Delectricious!
- Now with fresh currents!
- Count Scrackula. |
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Oh this shit just writes itself! |
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Hahaha, [doc]. "Are you smoking stump? Don't bother, just try Zaphead lozenges" |
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"Jolts" would be a good name for these. |
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Just occurs to me, you could have the pop rocks
feature as well. |
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Pop Rocks were really fun to give to your unsuspecting
parents. Hahaha, I knew what they were gonna do, but my
Mom's face was epic. Hahahahaahaaa |
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Come on guys, we all know they'd be called Tazers. |
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Also available in a malt flavour. You can guess what they'd be
called. |
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That's crazy, I JUST watched a documentary on the
invention of the Taser. The inventor was inspired
by a
comic book of a guy who used an electronic rifle to
stun bad guy and he named his invention after
that. |
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Taser is an acronym for Tom A. Swift Electric Rifle
after the Tom Swift books about an inventor of
amazing gadgets were a childhood favorite of the
inventor. |
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And yes, Tongue Tasers, or Tasty Tasers would be a
great name. Malt Tasers? Taser Malts? I give up. |
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Me too, Doctorwho. I thought it was just me being dumb. Ok
Loris, you got us with your taser, now give it up. |
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I guess Maltesers are just not a thing in the US then, even
though Wikipedia says they've been sold there since 2017. |
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Yup, that would be obvious. Never heard of them
though. |
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Very weird name for a candy no? |
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<Malteasers>
//Very weird name for a candy no?// |
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I think it's just because you don't recognise it, and you're
familiar with your local brand of wierdness.
Because a quick investigation reveals that popular American
sweets have names like Snickers, Twinkie, Tootsie roll and
Twizzler. |
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We have Snickers bars here too - they used to be called
"Marathon" bars. /Still/ seems wierd to me, though, over 30
years later. |
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Snickers, pl. of snicker, n. that which snicks (q.v.) |
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//Snickers, Twinkie, Tootsie roll and Twizzler.// |
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Yea, maybe, but I think there's a method to the
candies you listed. Following the outline I'd say
these names might work: |
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Tinkadoodles, Snoodles, Binkiboos, Doodlies,
Gummyummies, Jinxies, etc. |
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I'd say Marathon Bar and Malteasers doesn't fit with
that naming method because they actually say
something. A Marathon bar assumes it's going to
take a long time to eat, like hours. That doesn't
seem like fun to me. I just want a little snack, not
to have to set aside a day on my calendar to eat a
candy bar. Malteasers sounds like there's a hit of
malt, it just teases the tastebuds so you go "Hey, is
that some measure of malt flavoring?" which isn't
something I'd say if I was eating a candy bar. I'd
just say I like it or not. Pointing out one very
subtle flavor isn't something that I'd do personally. |
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//Snickers, Twinkie, Tootsie roll and Twizzler.// |
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Yea, maybe, but I think there's a method to the
candies you listed. Following the outline I'd say
these names might work: |
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Tinkadoodles, Snoodles, Binkiboos, Doodlies,
Gummyummies, Jinxies, etc. because they're blank
meaning words that hint at something kind of fun. |
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I'd say Marathon Bar and Malteasers doesn't fit with
that naming method because they actually say
something. A Marathon bar assumes it's going to
take a long time to eat, like hours. That doesn't
seem like fun to me. I just want a little snack, not
to have to set aside a day on my calendar to eat a
candy bar. |
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Malteasers sounds like there's a hint of
malt, it just teases the tastebuds so you go "Hey, is
that some measure of malt flavoring in this?" which
isn't
something I'd say if I was eating a candy bar. I'd
just say I like it or not. Pointing out one very
subtle flavor isn't something that I'd do personally. |
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Oops, hold the phone, they're "Maltesers" (see Poc's
link) so I
have no idea what that's supposed to make you
visualize. Sounds like a torture device. "The UN has
voted to ban the use of maltesers on political
prisoners." |
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How's about a nice game of confectionary Liff? |
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Snickers - A contraction of Skiddy Knickers, i.e. dirty girls
underpants. |
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Twinkie - aw, did didums get an ouchie? |
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Tootsie roll - a toe-jam flavoured sponge roll. |
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Twizzler - isn't that some sort of low-grade reconstituted
meat product intended for underprivileged schoolchildren? |
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Speaking of inappropriately named products, there's this
product here called "Dreamies". Sounds like some sort of
sweetie, right? |
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Dreamies is cat food? I'd hope they make that clear,
sounds delicious. |
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Wonder if they got the idea from here. It's happened before. |
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Just checked, they applied for their patent a month after I published the idea here. Sorry Indian Institute Of Science, you can't claim priority, posting on a public website constitutes publishing and this was published Jan 25 2022, almost a month before you put in your application. |
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Or do they already know that? Hmm. This might get interesting. |
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The inability of Patent Offices to do a proper "prior art" search strikes again... |
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I'm open to selling them my priority rights. It's passed 12 months since being published so I can't patent it, but they can't either. An idea has to be new, once I published it here it wasn't new anymore. |
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In other words, I own priority, it's just not worth anything unless I pass those rights to the people who put the patent in within that proper timeframe. |
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Anyway, I was kind of excited about this idea until I was about halfway through typing it here when I realized these little zapper candies would be a lot of fun, until they landed on a metal tooth filling. |
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I am not a lawyer, but based on my understanding, this half-baked idea has no bearing on that patent. You are proposing an edible battery for the purpose of causing a sensation when in the mouth. I imagine that may have been patentable. They are using an edible battery for completely different purposes. The concept of an edible battery in general predates both of these ideas. In the Patent Citations, the patent examiner added a links to Patent WO2008030480A2 (2006) which contains the following text: "Alternatively, battery 702 may be comprised of biologically safe materials, such as citric juices or semi-solids, ". |
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I'll add a [+] for the original idea though. |
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True, but might be open to interpretation, it's the same basic system used for another purpose. |
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Here's what I know about patents, they're "fluid" in their usefulness. These are just documents that give you a reason to go to court. Once you're there, you're dealing with humans and Katy bar the door. |
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"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, are you going to deny the good doctor the millions coming to him? Do you know he has a dog that's very sick? Are you going to kill this poor puppy just so some big business can make millions? Balif, bring in that cute little sick puppy dog." |
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Thank you for the bun by the way, it's all I'd expected to get from this idea and I'm perfectly happy with it. |
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