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Empathy implant

 Better than a bulge
  (+1, -4)
(+1, -4) 		  [vote for,
against]

Breast implants consist of silicone bags filled with fluid, often saline. Men are occasionally encouraged to empathise with their pregnant partners by wearing an empathy bulge. However, this presumably fails to emulate the true experience in various ways. Therefore, i suggest a twofold approach to this. Place a large plastic bag containing water-absorbent granules in a male abdomen by keyhole surgery and fill it with ten litres of saline solution. Also, insert an implant which releases the hormones of pregnancy. The granules are to absorb the water and create a large, solid mass resembling a foetus. When the period is over, the contents of the bag can be removed by suction and the empty bag can also be taken out through the initial relatively small incision.
—nineteenthly, Jun 08 2005

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       I see many men with these things. They make them from beer.
—ldischler, Jun 08 2005
   

       I thought I was getting fat, but then it dawned on me what was really going on.   

       I never should have had sex with Sigourney Weaver.
—Detly, Jun 08 2005
   

       how would you recreate the kicking and bladder trampling?
—po, Jun 08 2005
   

       Magnets. Giant magnets.
—Detly, Jun 08 2005
   

       I have in mind a large congealed object inside the bag, arising from the granules, which would in some ways move about like a baby, though passively. Then again, i like [Detly]'s giant magnets, so i'm going to say the man wears a belt with electromagnets that switch on and off and the granules are small steel ball bearings coated with a water absorbent substance that becomes sticky and makes them adhere to each other. The next problem is how to remove this mess afterwards, but there is such a thing as a C-section.
—nineteenthly, Jun 08 2005
   

       But.. but.. If he is bulky too, who is going to carry my groceries?????
—Susan, Jun 08 2005
   

       Good point, [Susan], I would be much less inclined to be the gentleman if i were to be in that pseudo-gravid state.
[Detly]Stop Bragging. Or lying. Or getting my hopes up.
—gnomethang, Jun 08 2005
   

       These... magnets.   

       Are they very powerful?... hmm...   

       Do they come from space?... hmm..   

       I think God plays with magnets.
—daseva, Jun 08 2005
   

       May as well just implant the baby, at this point.   

       //empathy bulge// Hehehe - learn something new everyday.   

       [-] for reducing the effectiveness of the supporting parent.
—Shz, Jun 09 2005
   

       Put one hand grip on the implant and use the male's natural external, wrinkled uterus as test bed. He'll never be so relieved to slap that puppy 'bye bye' after nine months of blowing kisses instead of waving to his mates.
—reensure, Jun 09 2005
   


 

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