h a l f b a k e r yAssume a hemispherical cow.
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When you go into a lift, you get the most annoying Muzac tunes that no one has ever heard of. I think that we should put a juke box in a lift, so that you can listen to something that you enjoy, instead of listen to, da, dada,da,dum de.
You may say that it is pointless, your only in a lift for a
minute, thats why short versions of songs will need to be created. On your next cd, you could find [ £ ]:Radio mix, [ £ ]:original, and [ £ ]:lift mix, in short, no more MUZAC.
[Microsoft, Megasoft, whats the difference?]
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As much as I would like to choose my own elevator music, I will settle for muzak, given the fact that for as many times that I get to choose the music there will be 10 times that I do not, and will have to endure 27 floors of someone elses elevator soundtrack. |
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I think that is the point of muzak...at the same time that it is not noteably good, it is also not very offensive. Besides every so often you hear some surrealistic mukak gem like the Red Hot Chili Peppers toned down to a benign whisper. |
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They'd need to be pretty short songs, since most elevator rides are much shorter than 3.5 minutes. You'd probably never hear the whole song otherwise. |
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If someone else picks the song, you may also wind up going through the entire day with someone else's song in your head. |
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I think the songs should be of normal length, but played
twice as fast. |
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Or better yet, as the elevator ascends, the song could
speed up, and as it descends, the song could slow down.
Sort of an artificial altitudinal doppler shift... |
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I'd rather elevators were quiet (mind you, that could always be a selection on the jukebox). |
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Standing in elevators is a bit like standing at a urinal: A short period of close proximity to strangers, during which one tries to avoid eye contact and is unsure what to do with one's mind.
Rather than a jukebox, I think it would be better if there were something to read plastered on the walls. Today's newspapers, perhaps. |
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I think a miniature ping pong table that descends from the ceiling would really be the best. Quick 2 out of 3? Anyone? |
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