h a l f b a k e r yNaturally, seismology provides the answer.
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Deliver the "last rites" to your quarry in a quick & clean way wihtout resorting to violence.
It would look exactly the same as a conventional priest (for those die-hard purists), however, you simply push a button and the fish is given a dose of electricity. Not too powerfull, just enough to kill
the fish (unless you like you trout fried).
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Huh? What is a 'priest' as used in this context? |
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Perhaps belly is Aztecatl. |
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Obviously there are a distinct lack of fly fisherman/women out there, so this idea is likely to bomb..... |
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The 'priest' in this context is an implement about 7" long, heavily weighted at one end which is used to dispatch the fish you catch, prior to consumption. |
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In the U.S. they have the subtle name of 'Fish Whacker', and resemble a large cosh or club. Of course, here in good old England, we do things in a much more refined manner. |
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Its called a 'priest' because, as I mentioned in my description, it delivers the "last rites" to the fish. This generaly involves you smacking it several times over the head with the 'priest', which usually kills it. |
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You could of course, use an actual "man/lady of the cloth" instead. If this is the case, I would suggest hitting the "Priest" with the fish.......(unless you've got the strength of Capt. Caveman). |
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My idea does away with all that fuss and bother, you simply poke the fish in a refined manner, and Zap! One dead trout. The ideal gift for the country gent.... |
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Ah, so desu. Why not just use a 'stun gun'? Easily available now...at least in the US. |
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<Fishing isn't my thing, having something panicking and flopping at me early in the morning isn't good for my nerves.> |
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You would think fly-fishing and Halfbakery would go hand-in-hand, what with all the time to think (and drink!)... |
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ANYHOW, I'm really disappointed -- I thought this idea would be a substitute for televangelists! A cross between a Palm Pilot and a portable TV, with preset blessings -- water, wine, bread/food, etc... a link into City Hall for on-the-spot marriages... a cartridge slot for spare nuns, lives of the saints and such essentials... |
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In Woody Allens' SLEEPER, people confess their sins to a robot which then dispenses candy or a cookie or something. |
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wait a second... you hit fish in the head with clubs? um, ok... |
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it might be fun to incorporate this into the hook instead. Cast, snag, zap. put a trigger on the handle... and much hilarious potential for dangerous drunken accidents. |
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Or do you not use a hook at all, a la bear-snatching-trout-out-of-stream? did I miss something here? |
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On 'Tales of the Gun' on the History channel, one of the shows was 'odd' guns. Like a little pistol that fit in a powder puff box <about two inches across>, and one of them was a .22 caliber fishhook. Put in the cartridge, pull the hook back to set it, throw in. Fish takes, you yank the line and it sets off the gun, and the fish gets a surprise. |
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The hook was something like four inches long and fairly heavy. I had the impression that anything that would hit a hook that big would laugh off a mousegun, even right in it's mouth... |
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Instead of fish whacker, try this:
Pour a small amount of HARD LIQUOR (i.e. vodka, gin, etc.) down any fish's mouth and it will die instantly. It stops their heart. Of course, you could give yourself a squirt or two which would be much more fun and easier and cheaper than an electronic shocker. |
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Edmund Cooper in his novel "Kronk" describes an electronic booth in a cathedral where you select the service you want and the machine them delivers it. |
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<random note>there is a golf club that takes blank cartridges so you just aim and pull the trigger and get a long shot without needing a powerfull swing |
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unsurprisingly it has been banned by the golf authorities |
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There is an electronic monk in one of Douglas Adams's books. |
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Yup, in Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency. It's function was to believe things on behalf of humans, if I remember correctly. |
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I'm in favour of a Priest wind-up doll. There's never one around when you really need one - like when you're standing over a dying pedestrian. |
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Small enough to keep in the glove compartment, the doll is about the size of an Action-Man or Barbie. |
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You yank the ring-pull on its back and it performs the last rites on the unlucky one. If the pedestrian is a young girl, you can comfort her by giving her the doll to cuddle while her life drains away. |
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Have you even considered giving up fishing and going into the preisthood? |
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