Electric Eel Power, Data and Water

Point 1. Ironically, given the nature of the English climate, bits of the country are currently in drought. It has long been known that this recurring problem could be solved with a national water grid, to move water from wet places to dry places.

Point 2. Electricity is expensive and we may not be making enough and, if we are not very careful, we will wind up buying it from the French. The thought of French electrons flowing through the untarnished copper hearts of great English cables is unthinkable.

I suggest that we kill two birds with one cliché, and that we do so using electric eels.

First, we lay a network of pipes connecting dry places to wet places, as per the aforementioned plan. Cunningly, we make these pipes of plastic. The pipes will need to be about four or five inches in diameter, so perhaps bundles of parallel pipes will be required.

Next, we fill the pipes end to end with electric eels. Obviously, the eels will not completely fill the width of the pipe.

Now, electric eels have ribbon-like fins along their backs, which they are wont to waft in a sinuous way. A single fin may not do a great deal of wafting, but the combined wafting of 1000 metre-long eels per kilometre of pipe will almost undoubtedly, propel water along the pipe at a respectable speed.

The bonus, of course, is the electrical power. A single eel produces a discharge of about 1J per shock (that is, about 500W for a couple of milliseconds), and a healthy eel can manage shocks in quite quick succession. Conservatively, well-trained eels might produce one shock every ten seconds on average, giving a mean power output of about 100mW. From this, it follows that a 100km section of eel- filled pipe will have a power output of 10kW.

Assuming that the National Water Grid covers about the same total distance as the motorways, this gives 4000km of eel-filled pipe. As noted, the pipes would probably be needed in bundles to convey sufficient water, so we can assume perhaps 50,000km of pipe in total, accommodating some 50,000,000 metre-long eels. The total power output of such a system will be a respectable 5MW.

There are a few problems to address, to be sure. First, we have to persuade the eels to deliver shocks. However, my guess is that an electric eel is likely to shock in response to being shocked. Hence, there is a very good chance that, by startling the eel at one end of a pipe, all the eels downstream would deliver consecutive shocks. All that is needed is some sort of return electrode to complete the circuit, and the system will continuously self trigger. Alternatively, of course, the first eel could be startled by some sort of telegraphic signal, producing a combined power-and-data system.

It will also be important to feed the eels. However, they are not fussy eaters, and minced food waste pumped into the inlet of each pipe will suffice. As a bonus, the water emerging at the other end will be rich in eel-crap, which is one of nature's finest fertilizers. It will also be necessary to introduce large slugs of air into the pipes from time to time, since the eels are (inconveniently) air-breathers.