EdiTerrant

Citizens! Tired of lugging around bulky backpacks and/or purses stuffed with useless, redundant gadgets? Well, here's one more!

Ahem. Instead of keeping breath spray AND a can of Mace™, why ot just just tote about a compact can of new EdiTerrant?

Using space-age technology, new EdiTerrant combines food, security, and convenience in one easy-to-carry package!

If you're feelling a bit peckish, simply take a swig of its powerful minty freshness directly from the aerosol-of-environmentally-friendly-equivalent nozzle (a la whipped-cream-in-a-can). But if, as you are doing so, an evil grue with Long, Razor-Sharp Claws creeps upon you from behind, simply whip the nozzle about and spray liberally in his/her/its eyes! If the liquid contained within happens to deplete while said grue is not yet incapacitated, simply break off the brightly-colored safety tab on the nozzle and lob the entire recepticle away from your fragile self and watch it explode upon impact, disabling your attacker and startling (i.e., alerting) all old ladies within a four-mile radius.

Oh, the pain! Oh, the refreshment!

Note: kills insects if used in sufficient quantities. Also available in cinnamon and anise licorice flavors.