h a l f b a k e r yWarm and Fussy
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Many people would like to be able to play
a game of snooker at home, but lack the
room
needed to accommodate the large table.
To
solve this problem, and simultaneously
bring
an additional element of skill to the
game, you
will need one of
my
new Duvet Snooker Covers.
It's like
a conventional cover, except that
it
has 4 snooker pockets that hang down at
each corner, with another 2 equidistantly
located on the long sides.
The surface of the duvet is of course
printed to look like green felt, and
marked out
accordingly. The final components are
the
sets of padded telescopic rods, which
must be
inserted like tent poles along the sides of
the duvet to form the cushions. Once in
place the cover is stretched by the rods
to
become a more even, but not perfect
surface.
Everything is now ready for the game to
begin.
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Annotation:
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This is half-baked. No question. |
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This would be very good for practicing breaks. The balls would all pool into the centre, you would break with the cue ball (striking it quickly before it rolls away) and the pack would separate briefly before pooling back into the middle again. If you were lucky you might pot. |
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This would also be useful for explaining Einstein's view of gravity. |
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Duvet snooker - sounds like a euphemism. |
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I hate to make another "The Young Ones" reference, but if anyone knows the character of Mike, played by Christopher Ryan, I think he would definitely be into this. From the episode "Demolition", just after Mike chalks his poolstick/cue and then eats the chalk. MIKE: You know the French for duvet? I'm talking a hundred-percent cotton. Mmmm! I'd like to find your duckdown stuck to the soap." |
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// sounds like a euphemism// |
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And the bedroom is hushed, as [zen-tom] attempts to sink the pink... |
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// And the bedroom is hushed, as [zen-tom] attempts to sink the pink...//
I seem to recall that Finbarr Saunders (and his Double Entendres) got there in Viz Magazine a few years ago - I understand that Mrs Saunders was eying up "A long, hard Pink" (Possibly belonging to Mr Gimlet)
Fyak, Fyak! |
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It wasn't until the third reading of "A ClockWork Orange" that I finally understood all the slang. Little did I know a fit of literary perseverence a decade ago would pay of like this. |
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{munches on some eggy-weggys and lomticks of toast} |
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//Fnark!// I suggest starting by pocketing my red balls, before giving my end a really good polishing and finishing with a long screw off the exposed pink and into the brown. //Fnark!// |
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ooh, a rebound off the cushion! |
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It's not very often you see a player get out the swan neck... |
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<Mitchell&Webb>"...and that's a bad miss"<M&W> |
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...two options for the next shot: a stun-run-follow through with a little top spin, or a deep screw into the pack... |
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You guys are gross. This was a good idea till ya'll got yer dirty hands on it!!! ;-) |
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true, let's change it to mini-golf: much less opportunity for innuendo there. |
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I think someone somewhere just got a birdie! |
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"...a wood, I think, for this hole..." |
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Man1: So you proposed to your wife on this very hole did you?
Man2: Oh yes, it was right here on the eitheenth - the engagement ring was all prepared. She tee'd off, and managed to put a little spin so as to make it around the curve in the course, but landed in the sand-traps. <finbarr>I made a good hard drive on her inside, before finally giving it to her in the bunkers.</finbarr> |
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