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Who's more full of shit? Find out definitively with the duel commode!
A double seated porcelain toilet; each bowl equipped with an array of sophisticated presicion measuring devices that log mass, volume and force of evacuation. Data is displayed on a tank-mounted LED screen, and the winner is indicated
by flashing whoopy lights.
The Duel Toilet saves the top ten scores!
Toiletron
Toiletron
by hippo [calum, Jan 28 2010]
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Annotation:
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[marked-for-deletion] Gross-out "humour". |
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//[marked-for-deletion]// |
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sp. "definitively"
sp. "porcelain"" |
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The bowls are made of glass, not ceramic, with the audience seated around and a little lower than the competitors. Big screens for close-up video feed. |
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[+] HA! LOL! So to determine log mass, will the waste product be measured by weight or by volume? |
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think we're going for overall kinetic energy. |
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Would that be kinetic energy from the time of release or from the time of impact? If you have semi-loose stools, you are more likely to make an impact compared to the guy that eats a lot of cheese and does not drink enough water. |
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Further research may be necessary to find the optimum drop height to even out texture variations. |
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Would this be a spectator sport, with leagues and scheduled matches with announcers ("let's get ready to rumbullllllll...") and loud music and flashing lights, and ornate belts for the winners, and competitors wearing special outfits with sponsor logos? Would you be disqualified for pissing, or is there some sort of sieve to keep that from affecting the tally? |
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Slow down, you're moving too fast.
<resumes taking notes>
-eat less cheese
-drink more water
-whole kernel or cream-of? |
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Though I think this idea is minimally funny, the smell
of two poopers pooping simultaneously might just be
overwhelming. |
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//measured by weight or by volume?// |
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Both will be factored into the overall score. I won't have people bulking up on fiber to flub the results. |
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//we're going for overall kinetic energy// |
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Spot on [FT]. I'm sure it could be extrapolated through the change in volume and mass with respect to time. |
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//I won't have people bulking up on fiber to flub the results.// So I guess this is suffice to say that if someone takes those psyllium fiber capsules that causes them to excrete those 4-foot long mucus coated rope turds... |
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Uh huh, huh. You said 'log.' |
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Complete that thought [Jscotty]. |
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...that they will be disqualified. |
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