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Working from the assumption that the opposite of war is not peace but ducklings, I propose that nonlethal shotgun pellets for riot control / police use be designed in the form of small bright yellow rubber ducklings. Such ducklings would be made out of very hard rubber, hard enough to leave a bruise
or possibly lodge in bare skin. The rubber would allow the ducklings to bounce around merrily after the gun was discharged, and also permit their use as teething toys or bath buddies when the riot was done.
Options would include shells containing a conventional number of small solid ducklings (4-8 per shell), or a shell which would contain one large duckling slug; this duckling would be hollow with a pore leading from its mouth, so on impact it would emit a loud, peace-inducing quack. Secondary impacts would create softer quacks.
Duckling theory.
Fluffy_20Bomb
[bungston, Feb 23 2005]
ISO_20animal_20noises
[not_morrison_rm, Apr 30 2012]
Vaguely related weaponry
Cat_20food_20can_20shotgun
[normzone, May 01 2012]
[link]
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And what do you shout when you see one coming? |
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great one. I'm firing my "croissant gun" your way. |
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How darling! I like this idea. |
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//The rubber would allow the ducklings to bounce around merrily after the gun was discharged, and also permit their use as teething toys or bath buddies when the riot was done.// |
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I almost spewed tea all over the computer when I read that. Thanks for brightening my dark and very rainy day. |
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Croissant for the first clause of your first sentence. Ubercroisant for the rest of the idea. |
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// a loud, peace-inducing quack// Bun for this phrase alone, though I'm worried about the possible anatine aversion reaction this "weapon" may induce. |
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I was all set to bone this but the notion of hundreds of tiny rubber ducklets being sprayed from a Riot Control Officer's sawed-off shot-gun is just too good. [+] |
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Lends a new slant to the old "Duck!" - "Where? - Ow!" joke. |
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Will there be different grades of ammo, from double-ought duck onwards? |
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At what point do the police decide that enough is enough, and bring out the big guns, like the cowitzer? |
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or the bazoocow, mooze missile, cattl-ing gun, Beef- 52 etc etc. |
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Silly, but baked in the form of rubber balls instead. |
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Take a gander at this gun my mallardjusted little freind.
This quacks me up. |
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"It's eider you or me , buddy!" |
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It's kinda strange that rubber duckies go "Quack!". Real ducklings go "tseep tseep tseep". |
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Perhaps neon rubber balls in a multitude of colors. |
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[squeak] I think they go "squeak". The rubber ones, I mean. |
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A low velocity version of this would be awesome for hunting ducks. Confuse them instead of killing them. |
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I really want to make a strange duckling/quark joke, but I think that might be taking things too far. |
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Could someone please bring this idea to [MaxB]'s attention? He's bound to complain if we don't. |
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hello [snotty]! am in favour as long as real duckies are not harmed in anyway! |
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cannot bring myself to vote in favour of shooting duckies... |
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Why was this idea not br...oh, thanks [methinksnot]. |
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[+] yeah that's what I needed, coffee sinus irrigation; thanksalot [bungston] |
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>Real ducklings go "tseep tseep tseep". |
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>the form of small bright yellow rubber ducklings.
You're not worried you might get hoist by your own canard? |
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<reaches for longer sword> |
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Nice ISOAN callback, though. I enjoyed that one. |
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{taking cover, reaches for sward} |
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