h a l f b a k e r yMy hatstand runneth over
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It is, as has been pointed out many times, a global
world.
This has led to an unsettling and offensive trend, to
whit,
foreign-made advertisements polluting English television
screens.
These foreign-made advertisements invariably feature
atrocious dubbing: the model's lips are saying
"Reinigungsprodukt für die Entfernung von Fett aus
Gargerät" while the sound is saying "oven cleaner". It's
all
very unconcerting and displeasant.
Fortunately, MaxCo. has developed Dubspeak software to
ensure that your next advertisement is readily dubbable
into the language(s) of your choice.
Simply select the starting language*, and tick the boxes
for
those languages which you might want to be able to dub
into at a later date.
Using sophisticated orodynamic buccal configuration
algorithms and advanced syntactovendal equivalence
matrices, Dubspeak will subtly re-phrase your message in
such a way that it can easily be dubbed into other
languages without embarrasing syllabic conflicts.
[*not Welsh]
Lost in Translation
http://www.dailymot...nslation_shortfilms
suntory time! Hi! Banzai!! [xenzag, Mar 21 2014]
[link]
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Choosing just the precise word that triggers brand
loyalty & purchasing action is a refined & focused art
& science. |
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And, those actions (loyalty & purchasing) are the
entire goal justifying the cost of the ad. |
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The lips that flap along with those precious words?
Not as key. |
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With more money spent on ads than on schooling,
you better believe they already know the best ways. |
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So, I give you a [+] bun for at least trying to make it
less creepy. |
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Well, yes. Dubspeak will unevitably be a
compromise. |
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Of course, by far the best solution is for all products
to be made in England and sold in England to English
people using English advertisements. If foreigners
wish to acquire these products, it is surely not too
much to ask for them to learn English. |
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However, we have to work with what we've got. |
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With a visual extension to Dubspeak, animation techniques would save the day. The model could learn to lipsynch, the way opera singers learn Italian or German lyrics, and simulate saying the script in several languages. Then people selected for the persuasiveness of their voices could separately provide the soundtracks, and everything could be remixed for each target audience. |
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This could then be extended to animated movies, which give similar problems to people who don't have the good sense or decency to just do the right thing and learn English. |
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We could just film actors forming every possible
position with their mouths and then piece the
frames together for every sort of language. |
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//a refined & focused art & science.// |
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Really, [sophocles]? Have you actually worked in advertising? Know anyone who has? |
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Art, I'll concede - but, last I checked, the science was still about as refined and focused as phrenology. |
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// We could just film actors forming every possible position with their mouths // |
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Yes. That way the animation component would be reduced to faking the transitions. The rest would simply be captured. |
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I wonder if facial expressions would vary? I suppose their timing might. |
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Maybe just capture the lips and forget the rest of
the face. All ads could be instantly recognized by
simply seeing the talking lips... |
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Instead of dubbing the German actress, let her
speak German! Have a wry, self-deprecating
Englishman superimposed in the corner of the
screen to repeat immediately after in English. Sort
of like those sign language translators. He might
add a word or two of his own commentary. He
would become a hero. |
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//Instead of dubbing the German actress, let her
speak German!// |
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I'm pretty sure that English television receivers do
not support German. Nor should they have to. |
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//products to be made in England// Ahh ha ha ha haaa! Ha haa! |
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And which major manufacturing nation are you from,
[poc]? |
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Who cares how the lips are moving? Mostly
everything on TV is crap anyway. You can read
subtitles if you need to know. |
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A much cheaper alternative would be to create some good reasons for the actors to wear burkhas and similar mummery when speaking. For the part of the toothpaste ad where the model rakes her lips with her tongue to show you how clean her teeth are, she could just momentarily lift the burkha. |
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A fine idea, [skoomph], though not necessarily one
that should be implented. |
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//toothpaste ad where the model rakes her lips with
her tongue// This could be achieved by having a
suitable set of teeth printed on the veil itself. |
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Thanks [xandram] and [Max], I'm now inspired to go one better. |
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They should just stick to completely nude models, avoiding the face altogether. The text could just be "subtitled" onto strategic parts of the body. |
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Obviously all the ads my grandpa stars in would either need a little gaze avertissement noticia at delicate moments, or careful shot selection. |
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I'll grant that this would make advertising toothpaste difficult. |
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Depends what you use the toothpaste for. |
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hahaha [dub] could speak for england at olympic level, bless him. |
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WHO TAKES MY NAME IN VAIN?!
Oh,... as you were. |
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George Dubspeak Bush from the maker's of canned beans. |
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As an alternative to lipsynching, they could use animated bellybuttons (depending on whether this was countersunk or protuberant - eg African traditional midwifery produces very few countersunk bellybuttons, and many buttons and new appendages.) |
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("Facts" may be taken with salt, if preferred.) |
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The bellybutton could have sharp little teeth, not perfectly unlike those of a Monkfish, for dentally oriented toothpaste ads. |
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