Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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There goes my teleportation concept.

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Drag Hearse

 From 0-60 in 7 Seconds; from church to grave in the same 7
  (+3)
(+3) 		  [vote for,
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I fancy myself a velocity-fiend in this life, and would have nothing less if I should pass to that "Big race track in the sky." The concept is to have a hearse that could accomodate roughly 13-second quarter-mile times. Thus providing the perfect close to a life of speed. However, it may be a good idea to have the funeral home at the end of a pre-established drag strip as to avoid moving violations. I'm talkin alcohol-injected, mandatory wheelie bars and drag chutes. The works. and at LEAST one 100mph + run down the strip. It would make the phrase "I wouldn't be caught dead in that car" expression to a new morbid level, but you wouldn't have to worry -- you're dead in a hot rod!
—Letsbuildafort, Aug 27 2003

Li'l Coffin http://www.showrods...ges/lil_coffin.html
Go in style. [wombat, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Dragster Hearse http://www.geocities.com/motorcity/9068/
[wombat, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

[link]






       + "It wasn't the cough that carried him off....."
Good Stuff!
—gnomethang, Aug 27 2003
   

       I went banger racing on Sunday and there were two hearses taking part. One towing a caravan., Now that would be a send off.
—oneoffdave, Aug 27 2003
   

       Previously halfbaked in 1964 by the TV show "The Munsters".
—krelnik, Aug 27 2003
   

       I would imagine its not as easy as it seems -- all the expensive corpse-retention equipment, and what if the casket wasn't buckled in right, and went FLYING from the windshield as the drogue chutes deployed ... but you're right -- "ya only die once" --
—Letsbuildafort, Aug 27 2003
   

       Why?
—DesertFox, May 10 2004
   

       Letsbuildafort, you're missing the point... You DELIBERATELY don't secure the coffin, so that at the end of the run you are flung at high velocity through a specially made hatch in the front of the hearse straight into your waiting grave.
—5th Earth, May 10 2004
   

       Well then you'd have to get specially trained drivers and what not. For an extra fee of course.
—Letsbuildafort, May 11 2004
   

       Better than through the front would be if the hearse in question were a side-loader and the driver made a j-turn right in front of the plot.
—justaguy, May 11 2004
   

       //if I should pass to that "Big race track in the sky."//

IF? What are the alternatives?
—English Bob, May 12 2004
   
      
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