h a l f b a k e r yFutility is persistent.
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Try staying in a "hotel". Of course that means paying "real" money. Most of these "hotels", with more than three stars, have a pnuematic supression device... Two stars or fewer generally have rubber stoppers... |
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or like a generator on the doorhinge that operates between 10-8; close the door too fast and get a shock. |
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I notice I fell into a trap of my own making in my previous annotation. |
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"More than three stars" and "Two stars or fewer", leaves three stars unattended. |
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However it is my hypothesis that three star hotels are an undiscovered wonder of the world. Continually striving to be "more than three stars", whilst fighting the woes of two stars or fewer, on a budget that attracts both. |
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Whenever I go to a three star hotel I expect two star ammenities and service, and I am usually pleasantly surprised. Whenever I go to four star hotel I expect five star service and I am generally dissapointed. Whenever I go to a two star hotel, I expect one star service, and I am generally correct. |
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This inaccuracy of measurement is due only to my expectations. Ergo, three star and five star establishments are the only hotels to stay in...for me at least. |
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There are accomodations at the same level, and with reasonable proximity to, the parking lot? Jeeves! Meet me in the foyer with the car, we have to leave... |
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Oh, I forgot to mention the angled nylon washer most good door hinges already have... |
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Dilution is the solution to pollution. If there were a steady noise of randomly slamming doors, it would serve to obscure the occasional slammed door of a real hotel patron coming or going. It would be a simple matter to create a robot arm attached to a door which would slam it with varying amounts of force. One could govern the slamming action with a decibel readout attached to an internet radio station such that the door provides a counterpoint to the bass. |
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//If there were a steady noise of randomly slamming doors, it would serve to obscure the occasional slammed door of a real hotel patron coming or going// |
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But what if none of the real patrons are slamming doors? Then they are subjected to endless door slamming noise for no reason. Better to fit some mechanism that makes the door hard to slam. |
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/But what if none of the real patrons are slamming doors? / |
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Then you do not frequent the same questionable by-the-hour hotels that Numbo does, and there is no need for any solution. |
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I recommend "backpack hotels" "youth hostels"
"group hotels" and all the other words for those ultra-
inexpensive hotels where a night costs $15 and you
sleep in a shared dorm. you meet all kinds of
fascinating people and hear all kinds of stories. Life
feels freer there. |
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My solution would be similar to bungston's but without the
robot arm (which I accept makes it inferior). |
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Simply spend a few minutes slamming you own door as loudly
as possible, yelling obsenities all the while. |
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All other patrons will fall still and silent, possibly holding
glasses to the wall, trying to work out what the heck is going
on in your room. |
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When you stop yelling, the place will be quiet as a funeral,
and you will be able to sleep sound in the knowledge that
most of the other guests will be gossiping about whether your
lack of yelling means you've been murdered. |
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Try staying at a decent hotel. |
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It's not the hotel; what you need is decency among the
guests. |
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Enforced by vigilante law, if necessary. |
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